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headmasters message
A Message From The Headmaster
Issue 1395
dave.jpg Cuts to School Services and Facilities

Due to unforeseen circumstances, ie the removal of Mr Clegg’s entire team and the school’s reestablishment as a Free School under a single Headmaster, a number of the promises we made at the end of last term will actually have to be kept.

This is most unfortunate. We were of course expecting Mr Clegg’s team to insist on vetoing some of the rasher pledges that we came up with late at night when we were worrying about booking the removal van.

So, if you don’t like some of the £12 billion cuts to the school’s accommodation, pastoral care and high-speed replacement school bus links, then don’t blame me, blame Mr Clegg and his friends for being so unpopular that they had to go. But you can rest assured, we’re not going to scrimp on the things that really matter. So, there will be no further cuts to the CCF, as we’re down to one young soldier and I’ve ring-fenced Atkins, T.

D.C.

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Next issue on sale:
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For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 7th July 2015.

Private Eye Issue 1394
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