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Issue 1538

“Bristol City have doubled their lead – it’s now Bristol City 2 Wycombe 1”

Radio 5 Live

“You join us as the players are disappearing up their own respective tunnels”

TalkSport

“We don’t want to give the authorities the rope to hang ourselves”

BBC Radio Scotland

“These English county players play 365 degrees all round the ground”

BT Sport

“Ivanovic can’t run, his legs have gone. Mother time has caught up with him”

BBC Radio Newcastle

gnitty
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In This Issue

Liz Truss hails ‘Brexit Boom’ as UK leads world in export of deadly new coronavirus variant… Unprecedented chaos at Dover as journalists queue looking for signs of unprecedented chaos… UK schools demand closure of PM’s mouth… Nightingale Hospitals overwhelmed with emptiness as new coronavirus strain spreads… Brexit deal a ‘massive boost’ to UK’s red tape industry, insists Downing Street… Honours row rocks government as World Emperor makes his horse a consul… China crushes new outbreak of citizen journalism in Wuhan… Russia wins right to have doping recognised as Olympic… Private Eye Diary: My Late Friend, as told to Craig Brown