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“The elephants there, enjoying Kevin Connelly’s package”
MARTHA KEARNEY
Radio 4

“That’s something you just can’t do against Ronnie, let alone anyone these days”
STUART BINGHAM
ITV4

“Maybe if some of the decision-making had been bacon, we might have seen more of a game”
JAMES RICHARDSON
BT Sport

“He’s got the ability to turn something into nothing”
PHIL YATES
ITV4

“This is an aperitif – it follows the main work”
ANDREW MCGREGOR
Radio 3

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.