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Issue 1541

Zoe Lyons: What is the name of the American fashion designer known for his Polo brand and polo player motif?
Contestant: Marco Polo.

Lyons: The murder victim of which classic board game was Dr Black?
Contestant: Monopoly.

Lyons: Which political party was jointly led by Alan Hope and his cat, Catmando, from 1999 to 2002?
Contestant: Labour.

Lyons: In August 2020, who did Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden pick as his running mate?
Contestant: Donald Trump.

Lyons: Which former vice-president secured the Democratic nomination in the 2020 race to become US president?
Contestant: Boris Trump.

gnitty
Please email your entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

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In This Issue

WHO experts given unfettered access to cells which held whistleblowing doctors dismiss Chinese coronavirus lab theory… NHS Titanic captain announces ambitious plan to restructure deckchair facilities… Excitement grows over Boris Burrow to Northern Ireland that will never be built… Shellfish trade vanishes from UK ports – along with any sign of Nigel Farage crowing about Brexit… Spotify, Apple and Amazon release revolutionary new “Just Going for a Walk Without Listening to Another Celebrity Podcast” product… Government commits extra £3.5bn for “protective shield” against claims it did nothing to remove dangerous cladding… Snow, ice and freezing temperatures leave millions stuck under the duvet.

Knuckle down!
At home with Princess Anne (and Craig Brown)

Cap'n Bob is back
Look who's resurfaced in the Eye

Vandemic update
White Van Man delivers lessons for all

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