“We’re like a butter through knife”
SIMON JORDAN, YouTube

“...unless MI London can pull a rabbit, or maybe an even bigger marsupial, out of the hat”
MARK BUTCHER, Sky Sports

“Maybe one of the players can put the ointment in the fly”
ROD STUDD, Sky Sports

“After 60 minutes, they [England] went out with a whim”
KEVIN NOLAN, TalkSport

“It’s a rapidly evolving technology which is still rapidly evolving”
MIKEY KAY, BBC News 24

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.