Tweet

"How has Gabriel missed that? That's easier to miss than it is to score!”
ALAN SHEARER, Amazon Prime

"You could almost cut the electricity here in the arena”
DARREN FLETCHER, TNT Sports

"If you're in the air, you've left the ground”
JOE HART, Radio 5 live

"Those [Newcastle] supporters who have made the long journey north are having an excellent afternoon here in Suffolk”
TOM GAYLE, BBC1

"They have old shoulders on their heads”
JAMES GREGG, Radio 5 Live

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.