As another incredibly successful school year draws to a close, here are just a few housekeeping notes, before I head off for a well-earned holiday(s) till May. (Don’t you mean “October”, Headmaster?)
There will be an end-of-term school auction of desirable items, including all the school playing fields. We are hoping that parents running fracking companies will take advantage of this opportunity to dig deep into their pockets and indeed under the cricket pitch.
Some parents have expressed concern that this might affect areas of natural beauty, but rest assured, there will be no drilling anywhere near the Headmaster’s house and the hugely unpopular school wind turbine, which is something of an eyesore, as it looms over the school swimming pool, may well collapse due to subsequent earthquakes and disappear from view. So everyone will be happy. What will spoil the view will be pupils marching about and camping in ugly tents, with unsightly banners saying such things as “Frack Off”, not to mention “Frack Off”, and the equally imaginative “Frack Off”. Any one entertaining such unhelpful and unoriginal thoughts should, frankly, frack off. We don’t want NIMBYs in our back yard!
Have a chillaxing break!