Private Eye logo
rss
twitter
twitter
rss
19th
Mar
The Prime Minister’s first appearance
Posted by Adam Macqueen | 9 comments »

Issue 584

One thing that seems to surprise the various people I’m talking to in the course of my research for the Private Eye at 50 book (that’s not even really a working title, is it?) is that I’m slowly working my way through the back issues. All 1232 (and counting) of them.

I’m not sure why. It’s kind of necessary.

It throws up some nice surprises along the way. So far I’ve stumbled across the first appearance in the national press of Doctor Who’s K9 and an early look at a teenage Sharon Osbourne.

And look who’s just popped up in the New Boys column, almost certainly written by Christopher Silvester in issue 584, 4 May 1984:

Dr Gordon Brown

The new Labour member for Dunfermline East, Dr Gordon Brown, is typical of the brand of mediocre, middle-class careerists who make up an increasing proportion of the undistinguished lobby-fodder and whom Labour habitually returns from Scotland, though he has greater academic pretensions than most.

Brown shot to provincial fame on being elected as Edinburgh University’s first student Rector in the late 1960s and ever since his ambition has outstripped his ability. Although, in a tribute, his old history tutor Dr Paul Addison has stated that Brown was “always more than a swot”, it appears that he lacked certain essential social graces. He never fully recovered from his rejection as suitor by the lovely Princess Marguerita of Romania (who works as a computer programmer in the University’s Computer Department) and ever since has devoted himself obsessively to his political career.

Before becoming Labour’s Scottish Chairman (a meaningless appointment made on the “Buggins’ Turn” principle) Brown worked on a series of current affairs documentaries for Scottish TV which were so excruciatingly dull that he was mercifully taken off the air (he has two brothers in the Scots media).

Once again he has been exceeding his limitations in his new role as a Scots lackey in the outer limits of Kinnock’s kitchen cabinet. A recent Sunday Times article which he had ghosted for the new labour leader had to be withdrawn as “hopeless” by Kinnock’s press officer, Patricia “Harpie” Hewitt.

In June, Brown will enjoy a three-week CIA freebie trip to the USA (he will get $60 a day pocket money while out there.) Kinnock felt obliged to approve this unfashionable hostage to fortune because he himself had been on a similar trip some years ago.

| Tagged with ,


Latest Posts
You wait ages for a sequel, and then two come along at once»
*kills self*»
Amazon up swanee»
McHackey strikes again»
And what do points mean?»
Latest Comments
Andy: ¨well, being a careful chap, I still have my Private Eye Orgy mug, made in 1965 ...¨
Justin: ¨Adam I strongly agree with you (that there are a group of us who feel like th...¨
Rogert: ¨I first saw the Eye back in the early 60's when I was still at school and a fell...¨
Archives
September 2013 »
December 2011 »
November 2011 »
October 2011 »
September 2011 »
August 2011 »
May 2011 »
March 2011 »
January 2011 »
February 2010 »
October 2009 »
September 2009 »
July 2009 »
June 2009 »
May 2009 »
April 2009 »
March 2009 »
February 2009 »
About  |  Contact  |  Privacy Policy  |  Links  |  Mailout
Private Eye, 6 Carlisle Street, London, W1D 3BN
© Private Eye 2014
rss
twitter
twitter
rss