The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1649
PM's WhatsApp Group
Wes Streeting
Are we going to acknowledge that Reform just gave us a thumping in a safe Labour seat in Runcorn?
Mike Amesbury
As the former Labour MP for Runcorn and an expert on thumpings, can I suggest that Labour really need to listen to the voters?
Yvette Cooper
Like when they say “Stop hitting me, Mike”?
Mike Amesbury has been removed from the group. As has Labour from Runcorn.
Rachel Reeves
Just to make it clear, we didn’t lose because of the cuts to the Winter Fuel Allowance.
Tony Blair
Hi, Tony here. Can I just say that’s a terrible idea. The voters don’t want all that Net Zero nonsense. And talking of great war-time leaders, Keir, I think you’ll fi nd you missed one out on your list.
Lord Glasman
Oh yes, Margaret Thatcher! Proper Blue Labour!
Lord Glasman has popped out for another cigarette, because Downing Street is a No Smoking area until Nigel Farage arrives.
Tony Blair
No. Not Maggie. Though she was great. The unforgettable war-time Prime Minister I was thinking of begins with a T.
Rachel Reeves
Liz Truss! Of course. She was at war with the markets and the economists who didn’t appreciate how brilliant her financial plans were. It’s a common problem.
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 29th May 2025
gnitty
MORE TOP STORIES ONLINE
Over and Don
Over and Don
Trump's UK cheerleaders desert him
Street Of Shame, Issue 1649
Rami-fications
Rami-fications
The Tory party's Ranger problem
HP Sauce, Issue 1647
Spitting Hoyle
Spitting Hoyle
Who riled the speaker?
HP Sauce, Issue 1649
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1649
In This Issue
BBC to use AI to deal with complaints... That Reform UK agenda in full... Shock as band called 'Kneecap' says something offensive... New pope to meet JD Vance... The King of Troubles: a short story special... That all-purpose family rift article... Prince Andrew writes exclusively for Private Eye... Post Office award at last... 25 years of Tate Modern: the five greatest exhibitions, as told to Craig Brown

Dark matters
Is the UK's power grid safe from blackouts?

Doctor's notes
MD on NHSE's transition

Royal v Mail
The lowdown on Harry's latest legal battle

Read these stories and much more - only in the magazine. Subscribe here to get delivery direct to your home and never miss an issue!
ONLY £2.99
SUBSCRIBE HERE
NEXT ISSUE ON SALE
29th May 2025
WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Private Eye Issue 1648
MORE FROM PRIVATE EYE