The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1679
PM's WhatsApp Group
Hi, everybody!
Hello? Anyone there? Hello…?
Steve?
Steve Reed
Sorry, just back from telling Victoria Derbyshire how great our leader is.
Thank you for your loyalty, Steve.
Steve Reed
Not you – Keir. Andy! He’s great. Did you hear his speech? Boy, it was good. Charisma, charm, oratory, humour, good looks, not being you, he’s got the lot!
Have I got no friends left?
Hello? Hello? Rachel?
Rachel Reeves
Sorry, just back from taking a selfie with Andy. That’s me! We’re super close.
Rachel Reeves
He’s such a great guy. I think he’s o? ering me Minister for Paperclips. And I’m going to take it. It’s not a demotion, it’s a privilege. Though we could have a bit of a paperclip black hole.
Andy Burnham has entered the group, wearing a black tee-shirt, Adidas shoes and brand-new running shorts. He looks great and I’m really hoping to keep the moderator’s job when he takes over and I’m happy to move to Salford if that’s what it takes.
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Private Eye Issue 1679
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Retail therapy
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King’s ransom
The inside story of Brian and Buckingham Palace

Local trouble
The dangers of Burnham’s regional devolution

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Private Eye Issue 1678
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