The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1674
Members Only, Issue 1674
Good news everyone! I’ve
been completely cleared of all
charges. The Former Under-
Secretary to the Foreign Office,
Olly Robbins, gave testimony
that made it absolutely plain that
I knew nothing about anything
at any point. Case dismissed.
Antonia Romeo
He didn’t say we were a bit dismissive about criticism, boss.
He didn’t say we were a bit dismissive about criticism, boss.
Utter drivel! Total
rubbish! Moving on!
Prime Minister?s completely vetted confidential WhatsApp Group
that he hasn?t read or been told about.
Angela Rayner
Is that why you spaffed £3,000 on a painting of yourself?!
Is that why you spaffed £3,000 on a painting of yourself?!
Wes Streeting
Are you?!
Are you?!
Ed Miliband
Are you?!
Are you?!
Angela Rayner
Nobody fookin’ told me!
Nobody fookin’ told me!
Now you know how I feel
Angela! And for the record,
I am not going anywhere.
Heidi Alexander
Nor is anyone else – there’s a tube strike on!
Nor is anyone else – there’s a tube strike on!
Angela Rayner
And don’t try the buses because Keir’s thrown too many bloody people under them!
And don’t try the buses because Keir’s thrown too many bloody people under them!
Darren Jones
Including the former Under-Secretary who is now the Under-Bus-Secretary
Including the former Under-Secretary who is now the Under-Bus-Secretary
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 14th May 2026
Next issue on sale: 14th May 2026
