The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1661
Members Only, Issue 1661
Right, we need to get to the bottom of this. Who are the Traitors?
And who are the Faithful?
Morgan McSweeney
Well, I’m pretty sure Rachel’s faithful, but it could be a double bluff.
Well, I’m pretty sure Rachel’s faithful, but it could be a double bluff.
Darren Jones
We can’t get rid of her. She’s safe, because she’s got a shield. It’s called the bond market.
We can’t get rid of her. She’s safe, because she’s got a shield. It’s called the bond market.
I think we should banish someone.
Yvette Cooper
How about Wes?
How about Wes?
Morgan McSweeney
No, he’s one of the big dogs.
No, he’s one of the big dogs.
Wes Streeting
How about Yvette?
How about Yvette?
Yvette Cooper
That’s Traitor behaviour if ever I’ve seen it.
That’s Traitor behaviour if ever I’ve seen it.
Wes Streeting
Unless you’re the Traitor, in which case I’ve got a target on my back.
Unless you’re the Traitor, in which case I’ve got a target on my back.
Darren Jones
If it’s an NHS target, you’re bound to miss it!
If it’s an NHS target, you’re bound to miss it!
Ed Miliband
Interesting gameplay, Darren. Ingratiating yourself with the big dogs and being the funnyman, so that no one thinks you’ve got it in you to twist the knife.
Interesting gameplay, Darren. Ingratiating yourself with the big dogs and being the funnyman, so that no one thinks you’ve got it in you to twist the knife.
Pat McFadden
Remember, Ed failed the task to bring down electricity bills as part of Net Zero.
Remember, Ed failed the task to bring down electricity bills as part of Net Zero.
Ed Miliband
That’s unfair. No one helped me in the task. They wanted me to fail. You’re all Traitors!
That’s unfair. No one helped me in the task. They wanted me to fail. You’re all Traitors!
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 13th November 2025
Next issue on sale: 13th November 2025
