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Columnists
Issue 1380
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Nocton in Lincolnshire escaped an 8,100-cow dairy (‘the largest in Europe’) in 2010 when the planning application was withdrawn following objections from the Environment Agency (Eyes 1257 and 1260). Alas, neighbours of Peter Willes, one of the farmers behind Nocton, are still suffering from the expansion of his existing dairy in Devon where he has built a huge slurry lagoon without planning permission…”
medicine balls
With M.D.: "On 30 September 2011, MD and reporter Andrew Bousfield asked the General Medical Council (GMC) to investigate whether consultant paediatrician Dr David Elliman had failed in his professional duty to address the concerns of consultants about patient safety at the Child Development Clinic in Haringey where Baby P was seen (see Shoot the Messenger, Eye 1292). The concerns predated the death of Baby P, which might have been prevented had they been acted on. A mere 38 months later, the GMC is still considering the matter…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "The Tories and Liberal Dems haven’t said how much fares will rise once they’ve re-privatised the East Coast mainline, but clues are emerging from elsewhere. A government company has run East Coast (King’s Cross to Leeds and Edinburgh) since the last franchisee, National Express Group, walked away to stem losses in 2009. East Coast managers have consistently been told, by Labour and then coalition ministers, that the business would soon revert to the superior private sector… Decent profits await the winner, according to shortlisted bidder FirstGroup, owner of First Great Western…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "The genre of ‘police procedural’… aims to show how the cops go about their daily business. But The Fall, BBC2’s hit drama, is unusually thorough in this respect, filling in the schedule of Superintendent Stella Gibson (Gillian Anderson) long before she even reaches her desk… Here she is asleep in a slip, suffering a nightmare in which, wearing the same off-the-shoulder nightie, she runs through woods. Next, she’s throwing off the sheet and getting up to walk to, as it turns out, the shower… So is the aim to show the work-life balance and the sort of regime of rest, personal hygiene and exercise that is necessary to keep a top cop in shape for work? Nah! The point… is to show as much of Anderson as possible, with as few clothes and as much suggestiveness as can be managed…"
[review of The Fall (BBC2)]
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "With the general election looming, coalition energy policy is closed for new business… After the election, however, someone really will need to get to grips with the incoherent mix of “renewable” goals and “market reforms” that are current UK energy policy. They may be emboldened by some plain speaking now coming from across the North Sea…”
nooks and corners
With Piloti: "Glover’s Farm lay in a beautiful part of Sussex near Bexhill-on-Sea. All the outbuildings had been cleared but the farmhouse survived – a timber framed 17th century house that would have made a charming weekend retreat for some smart metropolitan or even a home for a local family. But its owner, Sea Change Sussex, a company that is building the Bexhill Enterprise Park nearby, allowed it to become derelict. The house was in the way of a proposed car park, so Sea Change applied to demolish it, arguing that it was of no special architectural or historic interest… On the night of 17 October – three days before security cameras were due to be installed – an arsonist set fire to the house…”
in the city
With Slicker: "Serious Farce Office director David Green has just been presented with another big potential legal bill – to go with the multi-million bills payable to the brothers Tchenguiz – just as the fraudbuster’s future is in home secretary Theresa May’s sights and on the line with next year’s Libor (and then the probable Forex) rate-rigging prosecutions…”
Letter from Baghdad
From Our Own Correspondent: "
Somehow words like lethal and deadly no longer seem appropriate for Baghdad. We’re way past that. We are probably the first city since Nagasaki in 1945 to be rendered essentially uninhabitable. Those of us who can’t get out of the place prefer to stay indoors as much as possible these days…”
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Next issue on sale:
9th December 2014.
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Private Eye Issue 1380
private eye Only In The Magazine

Nursery Times: Prince Charmless to continue ‘heartfelt interventions’ when king… Sir Cliff to Raid BBC Shock… Why those Christmas songs are patronising and wrong… The Secret Diary of John Major KG, aged 77 3/4… Geldof joins fight against Plebola… Controversial picture of enormous arse provokes debate… Tony Blair’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Staying Indoors and Staying Put: A letter from Baghdad
- Health Check: The NHS is still paying millions of pounds over the odds on PFI contracts
- PLUS: Child’s prey – Russell Brand’s Trickster Tales
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 9th December 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1379
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