The New Prime Minister’s Highly Confidential WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1625
PM's WhatsApp Group
Hi guys! Is anyone there?
James Forsyth
Sorry, boss, I’m afraid most of the team are too busy for a group chat at the moment, trying to save their seats.
I expect they’re thrilled. My brilliant political ambush has taken everyone by surprise!
Jeremy Hunt
Yes, especially us. What were you thinking of?
The timing is perfect. Me and Ollie got together and cooked it up between the two of us. The economy’s turned the corner. The weather’s terrible, so not many small boats. And England are favourites to win the Euros.
Penny Mordaunt
The only drawback is we’re 22 points behind in the polls.
Kemi Badenoch
No, that’s the number of seats we’re going to get, surely?
The important thing is we’ve hit the ground running.
Michael Gove
Cheerio! I’m running away.
Andrea Leadsom
Me too!
Lucy Allen
Me too!
Who are you? Doesn’t matter anymore, boss.
Lucy Allen
Vote Reform! Lee Anderthal is a great bloke! Richard Tice is really nice. Nigel Farage tells it like it is.
We don’t need your support, we’re better off without you.
James Forsyth
To be honest, boss, we need everyone we can get.
Hundreds of people have left the group and have joined LinkedIn/Grindr in order to send out their CVs/genital selfies.
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