COLUMNISTS
Issue 1679
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: “With Andy Burnham all but certain to become prime minister, there is much speculation about what changes in farm policy and levels of capital taxation farmers can expect to pay under a Burnham-led government. So far, he has outlined his intention to devolve power and policy-making from Westminster, but it has to be assumed this is unlikely to include agriculture…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: “Passengers inured to the shortcomings of the new trains operated by East Midlands Railway (EMR) won’t be surprised that investigators of last month’s crash are probing why one of those trains ‘unexpectedly’ stopped. The collision, near Bedford, happened because a train failed to halt at the red signal behind a new Hitachi train which had stopped. The driver of the rear train was killed and 162 people were injured. A secondary concern is that the new train halted because of a fault with its Automatic Warning System (AWS)…”
us eye
With Lady Liberty: “‘I forgot to get napkins so I just wiped my hand on the American flag behind me,’ posted a student organiser called Darializa Avila Chevalier on Twitter back in the heady days of 2019. Chevalier also shared thoughts on Sheryl Crow’s song Soak Up the Sun (‘bootstrap capitalist propaganda’), Marx and Lenin (‘white dudes’) and the Democratic establishment (‘Fuck Kamala Harris’). Chevalier is now the Democratic candidate for New York’s 13th Congressional District…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: “Streaming means viewers mostly watch when they choose, but big live events still depend on strict grid timings: royal weddings and funerals start at 11am; general election coverage 10pm. So Mexico v England in the World Cup last 16 was a scheduling nightmare. Initially due to kick off at 1am on Monday, it was rumoured to shift to 7pm on Sunday due to severe weather warnings. Restored to the original slot, it was threatened with a later start due to storms…”
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: “Grid operator Neso now faces summer challenges that exercise it almost as much as in winter (Eye 1674), but it still underestimated the demand for air conditioning in the June heatwave. So it had to supplement its plans from whatever source was available ‘at the margin’ in the electricity market. This demonstrated that there is absolutely no reason to think that importing electricity via subsea ‘interconnector’ cables – energy secretary Ed Miliband’s favoured alternative marginal source – is any less costly or volatile than gas...”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: “The Royal Opera House was in gala mode in May for the unveiling of new stage curtains that dazzled with the gold cyphers of King Charles III (replacing those of Elizabeth II) and are jaw-droppingly expensive – the precise cost is undisclosed but thought to be in excess of £1m. The audience may have seen cause for celebration but there was much less delight backstage, where rumours were circulating that the House was in such deep financial trouble it might soon be curtains for a fair few staff.…”
eye world
Letter from Tshwane
From Our Own Correspondent: “South Africans adore a good courtroom drama – every day here an epic battle plays out before some judge or other. There’s the president’s potential impeachment; a commission of inquiry into police and intelligence services corruption; assassination attempts on commission witnesses (some successful and some not); and crime boss ‘Cat’ Matlala, on trial for murder and corruption, who has just turned state witness and threatens to throw his security service associates under the bus…”
in the money
With Gold Digger: “How will Nigel Farage use his latest bung, the £270,000 paid to him last month by Direct Bullion for acting as the gold trader’s ‘brand ambassador’ for 12 hours? Perhaps to pep up the beleaguered finances of another company founded by the gold company’s owner, Paul Withers, to which the Reform UK leader has also put his name: Stack BTC. When Farage first became a shareholder in the ‘Bitcoin treasury’ company…”
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Next issue on sale: 23rd July 2026
gnitty
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1679
In This Issue
How to tell whether you are at Ayatollah Khamenei’s funeral or Taylor Swift’s wedding... Middle-aged man goes on social media and isn’t totally embarrassing... All-purpose reaction to latest maternity/abuse/care scandal... Return of prodigal son uncertain... Reform already delivering on election promises even though they’re not in power yet... Robert Jenrick’s guide to political bias... Ageing fleet of excuses to be replaced by more nimble excuses... 250 years of the USA, as told to Craig Brown

Retail therapy
What’s going on at the Co-op?

King’s ransom
The inside story of Brian and Buckingham Palace

Local trouble
The dangers of Burnham’s regional devolution

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Private Eye Issue 1678
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