“Maybe one of the players can put the ointment in the fly”
ROD STUDD, Sky Sports

“...unless MI London can pull a rabbit, or maybe an even bigger marsupial, out of the hat”
MARK BUTCHER, Sky Sports

“It’s a rapidly evolving technology which is still rapidly evolving”
MIKEY KAY, BBC News 24

“After 60 minutes, they [England] went out with a whim”
KEVIN NOLAN, TalkSport

“We’re like a butter through knife”
SIMON JORDAN, YouTube

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.