"It feels like I'm watching Euro 2000, seeing Rivaldo up front"
MARY EARPS (on the very much Brazilian Rivaldo), ITV

"He's four or five years older than five years ago"
CLAUDE HARMON III, Sky Sports

"This won't be the first time this week we see Aidan O'Brien in the winner's enclosure"
FRANCESCA CUMANI, ITV

"If you see a better save today, in any match anywhere, I doubt it could be as good as that one"
GER CANNING, RTE

"That was closer than it actually was"
ANDROS TOWNSEND, C5

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.