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Issue 1561

Ben Shephard: Located close to the border with India, the city of Lahore is in which south Asian country?
Contestant: Japan.

Shephard: The Volga, Europe's longest river, flows into which inland body of water?
Contestant: The River Nile.

Shephard: From which French city did Lyonnaise potatoes get its name?
Contestant: Marseilles.

Sitting on a Fortune, ITV
Gary Lineker: The infamous Bermuda Triangle is located in which body of water? The Dead Sea, Atlantic Ocean, Indian Ocean or Loch Ness?
Contestant: Between the Dead Sea and Loch Ness, I'd say… I'll say Loch Ness.

gnitty
Please email your entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

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COP 26 delegates finally agree to achieve net zero disagreements on agreements by 2030… Biden and Xi strike historic deal to end global warming by instigating nuclear winter… 'Why I feel sorry for Rachel Johnson', by Ghislaine Maxwell… Jennifer Arcuri breaks her silence for the 19,735th time… Prince Andrew vows not to leave 'I'm a Celebrity' Windsor Castle until last possible moment… Rumours rife public isn't being told full truth about what's wrong with BBC royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell… Tate: The authorised interpretations, as told to Craig Brown

Profits of Doom
A Covid goldmine for private hospitals

Amersi mission
Top Tory funder goes to court

Mail sackwatch
So. Farewell then Geordie Greig…

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