Great news, I’ve got the weather under control. It may be a long haul, but trust me, thanks to the measures I’ve put in place, come the summer you’re going to see a real improvement in the meteorological conditions around the school.
But the job’s only half done, so we’ve all got to roll up our sleeves and indeed our trouser-legs as we literally “bail out” the school (thanks for that one Finkelstein, D, but the floods covering most of the school grounds are not really a laughing matter).
I’ve asked Mr Paterson from the Environmental Studies Dept to take full responsibility, ie blame, for the situation and I’ve sent him out in the school canoe to survey the conditions on the ground, or rather three feet above the ground. I’m not sure how his meeting with the unfortunate flood victims went, but I could hear the frank exchange of shouts from the opposite end of the school. So, at least the discussion was heated, even if their buildings aren’t (thanks again, Finkelstein, D, but I’m still not sure this is a topic for jokes).
When Mr Paterson swam back, having had his canoe confiscated by an insistent local groundsman, he informed me that no one is complaining and they are all showing the Dunkirk Spirit. In other words, they’re all stranded and looking desperately for small boats to rescue them…