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No. 561 by Cyclops
£100 prize to the first correct solution opened on 4th December 2015.
private eye crossword
An Across Lite version of this crossword is available for download here». Free copies of Across Lite are available at the Literate Software website.

Entries: Send your completed entries via post to Crossword, Private Eye, Carlisle Street, London W1D 3BN or via email here.

More crosswords from Cyclops can be found here.

1 Uptight plonker, Conservative and extremely horny (7)
5 Clegg packed with sex and power? Challenge that in some detail! (3-4)
9 With Nigel finally going, perfect conceit! (4)
10 Paper covering for poor US GIs taking care not to be identified (2,8)
12 11's ultimate regular club engagement? How awful if he were to get it! (10)
13 Border control centre withdrawn from "those people" (3)
14/28 Aspects of a literary body minded to be contrary (6,3,4)
15 Swear alternative Tory leader is Labour (6)
18 Johnny's party act: getting married (6)
20 Token party nominees (6)
23/4 When things just get worse and worse – 24/7 in 11's case? (3,4,3)
25 Latrine duty's crap – take day off for detachment (10)
26 Have sex at your convenience with Patty (steamy dish)
? (7,3)
27 Extreme left-winger's back, ousting Labour's top figure (4)
28 See 14ac. 29 City's unscrupulous head walked on air (7)

2 Protection for members in deep water (6)
3 Rise above rants about Corbyn's prime goal (9)
4 See 23ac. 6 Location of pig ritual performance ends with a flourish (2,5)
7 Penis tip that hurt, following posing? (5)
8 Material offered by Conservative, burnt-out stuff, nothing more (8)
11 Ridiculously powerful businessman, syndicate boss, a hollow loud-mouthed fake (6,5)
16 Independent hack's spare prick (9)
17 After a drink, almost nothing on – which was worth something in olden times (8)
19 Was the boss bloke "Silver Balls"? (7)
21 I say, Rebekah's leader screwed up, etc – do some editing! (7)
22 Sex with fish gives off odour (6)
24 Go with it and split tongue (5)
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Cameron Announces Thousands of New Announcements… Labour ‘Terror Threat Raised to Corbyn’… God Admits Doubts About Archbishop Welby… Isis Accuses Russians of Cheating… Kay Burley’s Animals of the Paris Bombing… Film Highlights: They Didn’t Fly to Bruges… Obama’s ‘Coalition of the Willing to Let Putin Do What He Wants’… Edmund de Waal: The White Road, as told to Craig Brown

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- After Paris… Molenbeek memo; security lessons for the UK; plus a Cartoon Special
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PLUS: Focus on the Corbynistas
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Private Eye Issue 1405