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Columnists
Issue 1377
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "As farmgate milk prices continue to fall, Farmers For Action has mounted more protests at milk processing plants about the money farmers are losing on the milk they produce. But when milk can be produced ever cheaper in “super dairies” where large numbers of cows are housed all year round and costs can be cut significantly – what is a fair farmgate price for milk?...”
medicine balls
With M.D.: "Holding surgeons to account has never been easy. When M.D. trained, a surgeon could invent an operation of dubious rationale and no evidence base, and carry on for years unchallenged. Another might do an established operation very poorly for a lifetime, safe in the knowledge that his or her colleagues wouldn’t speak up…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "The ‘average lateness of a passenger’ was 2.6 minutes in the latest four weeks, up from two minutes a year earlier. Clearly fewer journeys are punctual – the opposite of Rail Delivery Group’s assertions. That might explain why train firms are shelling out extra compo for passengers…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "The best moment came when a middle-class cat owner sneaked a sly obstetric joke – suggesting that her cat flap-resistant pussy was “too posh to push” – past the pre-watershed morality monitors…
[Review of Cat Watch: the New Horizon Experiment, BBC2]…”
nooks and corners
With Piloti: "Just as he has done elsewhere, and with characteristic self-assurance and benevolence towards big money, mayor of London Boris Johnson has used the powers he has to override London boroughs and approved a scheme hardly anyone likes...”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: "Scottish opera claims the lion’s share of arts funding in Scotland yet has no full-time orchestra or chorus, no artistic director, no music director, a token music staff and has programmed just five main-stage productions for its 2014/15 season – better than the three it managed in the previous season but hardly something to be proud of…”
books and bookmen
With Bookworm: "Barmy old bat that she is, Dame Vivienne can be forgiven, but Kelly seems just as careless. And what of publisher Picador? Was the book even edited?…”
in the city
With Slicker: "Where does stupidity end and recklessness begin? Especially with the supposed great and good, City grandees with peerages and knighthoods to protect them? That line was unclear at Northern Rock and RBS. It remains to be seen whether it is any clearer when the much-delayed report into HBOS by the Financial Conduct Authority emerges…”
Letter from Bogota
From our own correspondent: "
Uribe denounced his accuser as a terrorist and denied any wrong-doing. But it marked a difficult period for the pugnacious populist...”
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Next issue on sale:
28th October 2014.
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Private Eye Issue 1377
private eye Only In The Magazine

Demon confesses to ‘inner Tories’… Joy in Africa as First White People Get Ebola... Story in newspaper not lifted from Cheltenham Festival… Toad and Friends Driven out of Wild Wood… Kevin Pietersen: An Apology… Dreary’s photo casebook: The Freud marriage has communication problems… John Cleese’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown.

And also...

- Trial of the Century: Postscript: Rebekah Brooks withdraws her application for costs.
- Keeping the Lights On: Why the new Hinkley Point plant is wallet-bogglingly good news for EDF.
- Dead Reckoning: Sceptics v Psychics.
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 28th October 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1376
gnitty