St Theresa

The Headmistress Writes
Issue 1492
st theresa.jpg So, here we are again. The departure date is imminent. Not mine, obviously, but that of the school from the EEU.

We are now, without a shadow of doubt leaving on the 29th March, or possibly later. And possibly not this year. Or next.

Some people will accuse me of not listening to other people’s views. Who cares what they think? The important thing is for other people’s views to come round to one’s own, at which point one must listen to them. I know I’m right on this because Philip agrees with me (Philip the husband, not disloyal Phil the Bursar – see below).

For those who are interested in that sort of thing, the motion I won this week by a historic margin of minus 149 votes, was: “This House believes that the huge and significant changes negotiated at the last minute by the Headmistress to the EEU Withdrawal Agreement are so huge and significant that we obviously support her now even though we didn’t when exactly the same document was given to us a week ago in a different font-size, with a different colour ring-binder.”

The fact that I cut my margin of catastrophic defeat from 230 last debate to 149 this time actually represents a victory of 81 votes. And for those of you doing A Level mathematics, at this rate I will be winning the debate by March 29th (2049).

Yours,

Mrs T May (Headmistress)

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Private Eye Issue 1491