Issue 1563
dumb britain The Tournament, ITV
Alex Scott: From which city on the south coast did the Titanic sail?
Contestant 1: Liverpool.
Contestant 2: Leeds.


University Challenge, BBC2
Jeremy Paxman: What is the name of the prehistoric trail whose eastern terminus is at Ivinghoe Beacon between Tring and Dunstable?
Student: The Yukon.


Tipping Point, ITV
Ben Shephard: Which flightless bird appears on the New Zealand one-dollar coin?
Contestant: The penguin.

Shephard:In which European capital city can you cross the River Liffey by using the pedestrian walkway called the Ha'penny Bridge? Do you want to play or pass?
Contestant: I'll play. Is it Germany?


gnitty
Please email your entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

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gnitty
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
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Private Eye Issue 1563
In This Issue
Christmas agony continues for young who CAN now spend festive season with families… Christmas parties are fine, but, er, not really – those new Covid rules in full… Say no to NHS waiting list misery with the new DIY Home Operating Theatre from Gnomemart… Labour wants Father Christmas to investigate No 10 parties to find out who was naughty or nice… Jeremy Corbyn sees off Angela to win Sparts Personality of the Year Award again… I’m a Celebrity Squid Game – Eye Christmas TV Viewing Guide… Fury at unsolicited dick pics beamed into homes as England batsmen surrender meekly in the Ashes… Experts agree that sharing a home with Prince Andrew makes Sarah Ferguson the most persecuted female royal in history… A stress-free Christmas Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Late bargains!
Gnome’s world-famous Christmas Giftmart

Cash prizes!
£250 anniversary quiz and £250 bumper crossword

Festive funnies!
Christmas cartoons galore

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