street of shame

The last Trump
Hackwatch , Issue 1649

coughlin.jpg
Con Coughlin has changed his tune on Donald Trump's chances of bringing peace
DONALD TRUMP had few cheerleaders among the British press when he kicked off his second term as US president. He has even fewer now...

Heath cliff
"The president's agenda for renewal is astonishingly radical, and may establish him as one of the most consequential presidents... The US under Trump is entering a new boom, led by machine learning, driverless cars, massive medical progress and the commercial exploitation of space... Britain has a choice: we can double down on our mistakes, and race towards miserable irrelevance, or we can swallow our pride and learn from Trump. Which will it be?" – Allister Heath, Telegraph, 22 January

"Trump's epic quest to save the world is going disastrously wrong... He has made too many mistakes, underestimated China, been played for a fool by Vladimir Putin, embraced flat-earth economics and alienated allies. His second term has so far been characterised by performative chaos, market volatility, obscene levels of cultishness, and zero strategic planning when it comes to decoupling from China." – Allister Heath, Telegraph, 16 April

Man of peace
"It is no accident that we are starting to see just now how the Middle East and Ukraine conflicts may end... Trump's inauguration has not even taken place, yet it is already evident that the mere prospect of his return to serve a second term as president is having a salutary impact on conflicts ranging from Gaza to Ukraine..." – Con Coughlin, Telegraph, 15 January

"Trump has made the world far more dangerous... The American president's attempts at peace-making in Ukraine and the Middle East have been disastrous." – Con Coughlin, Telegraph, 1 May

Stock answers
"Donald Trump's modus operandi is to move fast and break things. That's not necessarily a bad thing... investors should not make the same mistake as they did in 2017. We may not know where the new president's attention will alight next but we do know that he sees the stock market as a barometer of his success. It may not look like it at times, but when it comes to managing our money, we're on the same side." – Tom Stevenson, Telegraph, 23 January

"One hundred days into his second term, Donald Trump seems less interested in treating Wall Street as a barometer of his success. It is the worst start to a presidency, from a US investor's perspective, since Gerald Ford in the 1970s. There's no escaping the market's judgement." – Tom Stevenson, Telegraph, 1 May

Reversed ferret reversal
"Trump is a demagogue and a would-be tyrant whose disregard for the rule of law and encouragement of sedition and insurrection have, very fortunately for us all, been thwarted by his own incompetence." – Niall Ferguson, Bloomberg, 10 January 2021, after the 6 January

Capitol attack
"This is Trump at the height of his power... I was struck by the kind of glow that comes from something more than a mere comeback... I'm convinced that whatever impulses he has or has had in the past, the system can contain them as it was designed to... If one compares Trump with Kamala Harris, it would have been a disaster if she had been elected. The right candidate won, and we must take Donald Trump, warts and all." – Niall Ferguson, Times, 3 January 2025, on visiting the Trump court at Mar-a-Lago

"There's roughly a 25 percent, maybe 50 percent chance of a recession... [Trump's] popularity has already declined... If you ask me what is the state of the nation, I would say we're in the buyer's remorse phase of this presidency. There's a phrase that I remember from my boyhood... ‘Ever been had?'... ‘Have you been fooled?' and I think a lot of people are waking up in the morning and wondering if they've been had." – Niall Ferguson, Sky News podcast, 9 April 2025

"Donald-25: the new virus that's devastating the world economy... The cause of this new shock is not a coronavirus from Wuhan, but a mind virus from Palm Beach, Florida. The mind virus is President Trump's belief that, by raising the average US tariff rate by a factor of roughly ten, he can make America great again..." – Niall Ferguson, Times, 18 April

To read all these stories in full, please buy issue 1649 of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 29th May 2025
gnitty

More top stories in the latest issue:

SENT TO COVENTRY
Panic ensued when Downing Street managed to send lobby hacks to the wrong Jaguar Land Rover plant for Keir Starmer's big trade deal announcement.

HARRY PLOTTERS
No sooner had Prince Harry lost his case over security than his legal team were back in the high court for a hearing in his case against Associated Newspapers.

COLE SHOULDER
Harry Cole has been dispatched to Washington DC to be "editor-at-large" for the Sun, for whom he will front a new daily politics show. Will anyone watch?

HARDING REBOOT
The new Observer under the control of James Harding looks very similar to the Times from the days when that paper was under his editorship.

THE SUNTOUCHABLES
The Sun was outraged that internal BBC report found the broadcaster doesn't have a "toxic culture". But the paper has its own fair share of wrong 'uns too.

HEIR CUTS
The Times enjoyed sniffing at two high-profile father-son disputes – but there is another famous family that has experienced similar recent division…

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