The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1657
Members Only, Issue 1657
Hi, everyone, I’m back from my holidays. So, Angela, you can relax.
Morgan McSweeney
Don’t worry, boss, she has been.
Don’t worry, boss, she has been.
Yvette Cooper
That’s one small boat we really should have stopped.
That’s one small boat we really should have stopped.
Darren Jones
We should have sent her home, but we didn’t know which one!
We should have sent her home, but we didn’t know which one!
Angela Rayner
Fookin’ hell. Can’t a girl relax and have a vape and a pint of rosé at the seaside without being splashed all over the papers?
Fookin’ hell. Can’t a girl relax and have a vape and a pint of rosé at the seaside without being splashed all over the papers?
Morgan McSweeney
What were you thinking of, Angela?
What were you thinking of, Angela?
Angela Rayner
I know it was a risk, but it takes more than a few turds bobbing around to put me off a paddle.
I know it was a risk, but it takes more than a few turds bobbing around to put me off a paddle.
Morgan McSweeney
Lazing around while the country’s in crisis wasn’t a good look. Still, nothing compared to being an anti-second home Housing Minister buying a second home.
Lazing around while the country’s in crisis wasn’t a good look. Still, nothing compared to being an anti-second home Housing Minister buying a second home.
Darren Jones
That’s unfair – it’s not her second home, it’s her third!
That’s unfair – it’s not her second home, it’s her third!
Angela Rayner
Fook off, Darren. The third’s a grace and favour flat, so I’m not paying for it.
Fook off, Darren. The third’s a grace and favour flat, so I’m not paying for it.
Morgan McSweeney
You’re not making it sound better, Angela.
You’re not making it sound better, Angela.
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 18th September 2025
Next issue on sale: 18th September 2025
