COLUMNISTS
Issue 1659
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Talks regarding a potential new ‘agrifood deal' to lessen the bureaucratic burden of food trade between the UK and the EU have begun. But, with the discussions due to last up to 18 months and no implementation until as late as 2028, how many UK food exporters (particularly smaller traders) will still be in business? Recent figures from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs show 328,727 export licences were issued to export food and agricultural products to the EU…"
medicine balls
Medicine Balls with MD: "A review into 44 neonatal deaths at Gloucestershire Hospitals Foundation Trust between 2020 and 2023 has found that nine were ‘potentially avoidable', MD writes. Concerns included ‘incomplete risk assessments' during pregnancy, missing reduced foetal movements, and misinterpreting foetal heartbeat monitoring during labour and delaying calling for senior review…"
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "Gatwick airport bosses displayed a touching faith in joined-up government last week, imagining that chancellor Rachel Reeves would back her enthusiastic consent for airport enlargement with support for better access by train. Under the terms of the expansion, before Gatwick can regularly use its second runway, 54 percent of its customers must come by public transport…"
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "Listings writers on the Times seemed to struggle to fill up the ‘Picks of the Day' column on 24 September. With a dinosaur insistence on relegating Apple TV+'s Slow Horses to a ‘Streaming Choice' footnote, readers were directed to a drama repeat on BBC Four and crime fiction on an obscure terrestrial network, U&Alibi. With the titles' TV desks now integrated, advice might have come from colleagues on the Sunday Times, but the Culture supplement also seemed short of recommended gems.…"
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "The government continues its purposeful retreat from the election campaign promise of banning any new North Sea oil and gas licences. Naïve ‘green' supporters initially believed Labour really meant exactly that, to the extent that Just Stop Oil declared victory and disbanded. However, as pointed out in Eye 1628, the precise weasel-wording of the policy only ruled out exploration licences, leaving permits for new production moot..."
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O'Boulez: "It's not unknown for the Musicians Union to fall out with orchestras, but there's a feud brewing between the MU and the Philharmonia over the way the orchestra treats freelance players it hires on an occasional basis. Technically every player in the Philharmonia is freelance, but regular ‘members' have stable work and a say in their destinies, while so-called ‘E&Ds' – extras and deputies – have neither stability nor say…"
eye world
Letter from Dhaka
From Our Own Correspondent: "On 1 September, Muhammad Yunus, chief adviser of Bangladesh's interim government, met with chief of army staff General Waker-Uz-Zaman to reaffirm that he will stand aside after holding a general election in February 2026. This came after polite but pointedly public advice from the army chief to Yunus to quash rumours that parties predicted to lose out in the election were scheming to extend Yunus's tenure to further their own interests…"
To read all these columnists and more in full, get the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 16th October 2025
gnitty
MORE TOP STORIES ONLINE
Rolling Tice
Rolling Tice
Richard Tice's overheated energy plans
Columnists, Issue 1657
Rupe hole
Rupe hole
How Murdoch fought off the Met Police
Street Of Shame, Issue 1657
Over and Don
Over and Don
Trump's UK cheerleaders desert him
Street Of Shame, Issue 1649
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1659
In This Issue
Shocking scenes as golf hooligan ruins Ryder Cup... Tony Blair offers to run Britain... This paper’s advice to Ed Miliband, whom we hate... Conservatives who introduced compulsory ID for voters outraged by compulsory ID system... ‘We’re a serious party now’ says Ed Davey on jet ski... Link between paracetamol and aut-horitarian-ism now proved... Let’s Parlez Franglamericain!... Israel warns "doing anything will lead to more killing"... Sarah, Duchess Of York’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Business mates
The corporate fairy dust in the air at Labour conference

Grouse of York
Team Ghislaine turns on Fergie

Candour wax
Why the Hillsborough Law won’t prevent major scandals

Read these stories and much more - only in the magazine. Subscribe here to get delivery direct to your home and never miss an issue!
ONLY £2.99
SUBSCRIBE HERE
NEXT ISSUE ON SALE
16th October 2025
WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Private Eye Issue 1658
MORE FROM PRIVATE EYE