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Issue 1658

"Now watch Marc Sneyd's urgent gestations to his other players"

"That was definitely a penalty – his arm was away from his hand"

"Amorim is on tender ice"

"They [Manchester United] have put all their ducks in that basket"

"We're all now just waiting to see who they appoint as his predecessor"

gnitty
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In This Issue

Last night of the Toms 'huge success'… Pot accuses kettle of enabling political violence… Mandelson receives dressing down… Nurseryland tests new alarm system… 'Telegraph overvalued' says Angela Rayner's house… Farage says 'I mis-spoke'… Paul Burrell writes in his sensational memoir "What the butler never saw"… World condemns Qatar strike and warns Israel it's 'prepared to do nothing'… 'Raise taxes for other people' agrees everyone… Helen Garner's Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Whisky sour
The tale of a beauty spot, a distiller… and its effluent

On Strike
Who is JK Rowling targeting in her new book?

Rising son
Mum's the word for one Labour MP's new office manager

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