The New Prime Minister’s Highly Confidential WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1626
PM's WhatsApp Group
Right, guys! We’re back on track! Literally! I’ve just been to Silverstone Formula 1 racing circuit for the manifesto launch. And I came out with my motoring zinger: "We’ve turned the corner"!
Hello? I said "We’ve turned the corner".
Oliver Dowden
Er, did anyone mention car crashes, wheels coming off, the pits, going round in circles, getting nowhere fast?
Penny Mordaunt
Only everyone on all social media platforms everywhere. Not to mention all radio, television and print. Apart from that, it’s F1 champagne victory time.
James Forsyth
No, the optics were great. It said British technological success. The future. High speed. Glamour!
Penny Mordaunt
It says Helicopters, obscene wealth, foreigners, money from abroad, conspicuous consumption. Just saying.
James Forsyth
That’s unfair, Penny. It was about Rishi, the Drivers’ Champion! Boo to Ulez! Hooray for petrol!
Isaac Levido
It was a bloody disaster! But at least it took the attention away from the absolute shitshow of D-Day.
Oliver Dowden
Oh-oh! Don’t mention the war!
Lord Cameron
I thought it all went rather well.
Lord Cameron
All the world leaders, including Britain’s most important politician were all present.
To read all of the PM's highly confidential Whatsapp Group Chat, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 1st August 2024
gnitty
MORE TOP STORIES ONLINE
Rachel capers
Rachel capers
Labour's reluctance to make harsh tax changes
Columnists, Issue 1627
American psyche
American psyche
The blame game over Trump shooting
News, Issue 1628
Olympic hurdles
Olympic hurdles
Coe's campaign for IOC President
In The Back, Issue 1628
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1626
In This Issue
Thank God the nation’s beloved figurehead is back… Sir Edward Davey: An Apology… Green party accused of ‘rowing back’ on green policies… Seven-way debate ‘a total mess’… Mr Tickle admits, ‘Yes, I was a bit handsy but I’ve learned my lesson’… US ironyometer in meltdown… Warning over invasive bamboo story… Four WAGs to watch in the tournament everyone’s talking about… Nadine Dorries: My current concerns, as told to Craig Brown

Deathly prose
Richard Madeley’s murderous writing reviewed

Saving the NHS
MD on the main parties’ health pledges

Right move
Suella Braverman is looking beyond the election already

Read these stories and much more - only in the magazine. Subscribe here to get delivery direct to your home and never miss an issue!
ONLY £2.99
SUBSCRIBE HERE
NEXT ISSUE ON SALE
1st August 2024
WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Private Eye Issue 1625
ALSO AVAILABLE ONLINE