Prime Minister's Questions
Live on Fakebooze, Issue 1565
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Boris: People of Britain, this is a historic moment. I have said sorry to someone for something. It has never happened before. You will no doubt all have seen my heartfelt, sincere and extremely carefully worded and convincing apology to the House of Commons.

You will have heard me talking about sharing your pain at loved ones dying alone and all that sort of stuff that I trotted out so movingly.

And I'm sure now no one can be in any doubt about how very, very sorry I am that you the public have formed the opinion, however misguided and technically inaccurate, that I have done something wrong, even though I haven't…

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Private Eye Issue 1565
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New from Gnome Heritage: The Royal Platinum Jubilee Sex Assault Trial Commemorative Plate… Covid-19 confident the Tories are ‘just about over’… Government’s launches well-thought out plan of knee-jerk policies to save Prime Minister… BBC call for public to stop funding Nadine Dorries… Couple called Ant and Dec go home with lots of money after blockbuster gameshow Limitless Win launches… HS2 archaeologists uncover remains of ‘largest white elephant ever’… Kate at Phwooarty! –Exclusive to all newspapers… Piers Corbyn: An A-Z of what they don’t want you to know, as told to Craig Brown

Hari’s back
The great deceiver writes a book

Peter’s friend
Slicker on Mandelson and Jeffrey Epstein

Nad tidings
Nadine Dorries goes on manoeuvres

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Private Eye Issue 1564
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