Issue 1534
commentatorballs “Twenty-three thousand metres of climbing, and one thousand ten hundred metres of kilometres still to go”
ROB HATCH
Eurosport

“You know there’s no respite in the Giro… there’s a rest day tomorrow, of course”
SIR BRADLEY WIGGINS
Quest

“To be as good as he [Harry Kane] is, it’s unique and it’s very rare”
DANNY MILLS
BBC1

“He’s a power-horse in the air”
MARTIN KEOWN (on Virgil van Dijk)
BT Sport

“He’ll be out for six to eight months – however long that might be”
STEPHEN WARNOCK
Radio 5 Live

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Next issue on sale: 15th December 2020
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Private Eye Issue 1534
In This Issue
The Three Sage Men Call Off Christmas... Boris Welcomes New President… Lines written on the death of Scotland’s favourite son, Sir Sean Connery … Nursery Times: Cheese Found on Moon… Rebel numbers ‘bolstered’ as Boris Johnson joins ranks… Gnomemart Presents the Po-PPE… James Naughtie over America, as told to Craig Brown

War, war not jaw, jaw
McDonalds cheers on Azerbaijan’s army

Lord Coe’s Running Mate
The athletics chief & the dictator

Chronic problems
More disabled people resort to the courts

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Private Eye Issue 1533
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