Issue 1530
commentatorballs “That winning run is made up exclusively of victories against Premier League opposition – apart from Portsmouth, Leeds and Olympiakos twice”
MATT SMITH
TalkSport

“When he got on to that final climb, he looked between his legs and there was nothing there”
BRIAN SMITH
Eurosport

“Quickstep are gonna be kicking themselves in the teeth tonight”
PETER KENNAUGH
ITV4

“It’s a tale of two stories”
PETER KENNAUGH
ITV4

“I would imagine that the strain on him is unimaginable”
STEVE ALLEN
LBC

gnitty
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Next issue on sale: 20th October 2020
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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1530
In This Issue
Doubt over Russian ‘miracle drug’ as Novichok trials prove inconclusive… TV first as ‘Strictly’ experiments with straight couple who don’t end up having sex with each other… Astro-physicists discover massive black hole ‘too big to exist’ in UK finances… Taxpayers to donate half their income seven days a week in Sunak’s new Fork Out to Help Out repayment plan… BBC to curb left-wing satirists who propelled Corbyn to power and denied Tories huge 80-seat majority… Russell Brand: The Big Questions, as told to Craig Brown

Covid update
MD on the search for safety

Davie’s locker
Enemies all round for the new BBC DG

Infected blood
It’s time at last for some answers

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Private Eye Issue 1529
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