Issue 1523
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Sir James Dyson, who topped the recent Sunday Times Rich List with an estimated £16.2bn fortune, also happens to be one of Britain’s largest agricultural landowners. So how much money should taxpayers give farm businesses like his post-Brexit? The Agriculture Bill, which passed its second reading last month, proposes the phasing-out of the idiotic EU Basic Payment Scheme (BPS), which pays every EU farmer about £90 per acre whether they produce food or not. Under the BPS scheme there is no cap on the number of acres that can be claimed, so Dyson has been able to claim more than £3m a year in subsidies…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "Apart from hedge funds, Deliveroo, wine or beer merchants and makers of PPE, the biggest business beneficiary of the pandemic has been Netflix, its regularly replenished stocks of glossy drama series ideal for lockdown. Currently No 1 on Netflix UK is White Lines, a ten-part British-Spanish collaboration between the producers of Netflix’s biggest hits from those two cultures: The Crown and Money Heist. As ever with Netflix, you can smell the money…”
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "Sara Bell, belligerent founder of Tempus Energy, is a big fan of ‘demand-side response’ (DSR), whereby energy consumers contribute to balancing the electricity system by switching off, sometimes in return for payment, at times of peak demand. Nothing wrong with that if you go about it constructively, as many dynamic new energy start-up companies do. But not Bell. Her energy supply venture having failed, along with her DSR experiment for Cornish households, Bell claimed DSR and Tempus were being disadvantaged by the UK’s ‘capacity mechanism’…”
in the city
With Slicker: "As maybe a million or more employees wait to see if their jobs will no longer exist once the taxpayer stops paying 80 percent of their wages, it is reassuring to know that at least in one part of the economy it is still BC (before coronavirus) business as usual. Barristers and solicitors involved in big-ticket civil legal actions may have had to adapt to Skype or similar virtual hearings instead of going to court, but the promise of eye-watering fees remains for m’learned friends and their solicitor backing groups…”
road rage
With Hedgehog: "The ‘immediate’ government-led review of Transport for London’s chaotic finances – a condition of TfL’s £1.1bn Covid bailout, enhanced by £500m of extra TfL borrowing – is long overdue. Some of the worst problems date from when the capital’s mayor was none other than one Boris Johnson. Tories, though, seem confident the buck will stop at current Labour mayor Sadiq Khan, boosting their chances in next year’s deferred mayoral poll…”
eye world
Letter from Dhaka
From Our Own Correspondent:
"The 150mph tropical storm that devastated parts of Bangladesh and eastern India on 20 May is a reminder of the type of cataclysm our nation is well used to managing. Thousands of farms and livelihoods were devastated by the category 5 ‘super-cyclone’, but shelter and evacuation networks kept loss of life within Bangladesh to just 26 deaths. No such confidence can be expressed about Covid-19, however, which apparatchiks of prime minister Sheikh Hasina’s Awami League (AL) government have used to intimidate their critics…”
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Next issue on sale: 14th July 2020
Private Eye Issue 1523
In This Issue
Dominic Cummings saga proves one-country-two systems principle is secure, says delighted President Xi… Astonishing video of black man not being murdered by police in US goes viral… That definitely-not-backdated secret Cummings blog in full… Hong Kong returns to normal after lockdown as protesters fight running battles with police… Turner Prize won by this year’s cancelled Turner Prize… Scotland’s decision to allow gatherings of eight people delights Edinburgh Fringe participants… Harry Potter fans rejoice as JK Rowling releases best-selling shopping list… Niall Ferguson’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Breach birth?
Carrie Symonds’ baby shower

Not a trace
Confessions of a contact-tracer

Stunt trouble
Tough times for Tory donors

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14th July 2020
Private Eye Issue 1522