The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1650
Members Only, Issue 1650

It’s another deal, everybody.
A brilliant deal with the EU.
Angela Rayner
What’s in it, then?
What’s in it, then?
I’m not sure, but that’s not
the point. I’ve learnt from the
Donald. Claim it’s a win and
everyone will believe you.
Angela Rayner
So, it’s a loss then.
So, it’s a loss then.
Morgan McSweeney
Don’t listen to her, boss. It’s a hat trick! First India, then the US, now the EU. You’re on fire!
Don’t listen to her, boss. It’s a hat trick! First India, then the US, now the EU. You’re on fire!
No, that’s my old car. And the
front door of my house.
Yvette Cooper
Don’t worry, Keir, we’ll find the perpetrators and bang them up in jail.
Don’t worry, Keir, we’ll find the perpetrators and bang them up in jail.
Shabana Mahmood
And then we’ll let them out again. Unless they’re paedos, in which case we’ll chemically castrate them.
And then we’ll let them out again. Unless they’re paedos, in which case we’ll chemically castrate them.
Morgan McSweeney
Good ballsy stuff, Shabana! Or should I say ‘no-ballsy’ stuff?!
Good ballsy stuff, Shabana! Or should I say ‘no-ballsy’ stuff?!
Shabana Mahmood
As long as it distracts from the fact that the prisons are so full that solitary confinement now means sharing a cell with six others, one of whom is the prison governor who’s shagging a drug dealer in the corner.
As long as it distracts from the fact that the prisons are so full that solitary confinement now means sharing a cell with six others, one of whom is the prison governor who’s shagging a drug dealer in the corner.
Yvette Cooper
Firstly, can we not use the term ‘no-Ballsy’ when there’s a big shake-up going on at ITV daytime. In our house, it’s a sensitive issue.
Firstly, can we not use the term ‘no-Ballsy’ when there’s a big shake-up going on at ITV daytime. In our house, it’s a sensitive issue.