The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1648
Members Only, Issue 1648

Welcome back from the Easter break, ladies and gentlemen!
Rosie Duffield
Have you decided which are which yet?
Have you decided which are which yet?
Morgan McSweeney
This is a safe space, Rosie, you’re not allowed in here.
This is a safe space, Rosie, you’re not allowed in here.
I appreciate the clarity that the Supreme Court has brought to this complex issue and suggest that the important thing is never to mention it again.
Rosie Duffield
Kemi said you had no balls. She’s right, isn’t she?
Kemi said you had no balls. She’s right, isn’t she?
David Lammy
Can women grow balls? Or is it men who can grow a cervix? I’m a bit confused.
Can women grow balls? Or is it men who can grow a cervix? I’m a bit confused.
It’s perfectly simple, David. The answer to those sort of questions is: “The Prime Minister is out of the office right now, please leave a message. He will be picking up emails and will answer them all in due course. Your call is important to him.”
Rosie Duffield
You spineless, flip-flopping jellyfish.
You spineless, flip-flopping jellyfish.
I appreciate your clarity, Rosie, and I’m pleased we’ve come to a satisfactory conclusion, but let’s remember it’s important to show compassion to those who hold different views to your own, i.e., me.
Rosie Duffield
So what is your view?
So what is your view?
My view is that I appreciate the clarity that the Supreme Court has brought.
Rosie Duffield
You’re a bare-faced lawyer!
You’re a bare-faced lawyer!
Thank you very much.