
Issue 1648

PAUL ROBINSON, Sky Sports
"It's not quite a 90-degree U-turn"
PAUL HUTCHEON, BBC Radio Scotland
"They concertinaed together like some sort of accordion"
DAVID CROFT, Sky Sports
"Matthew Stevens has gone to the toilet on table 4"
DAVE HENDON, TNT Sports
"It's a little blimp in hopefully what otherwise will be a very competitive season"
DAVID COULTHARD, C4
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