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Private Eye Issue 1576
In This Issue
Conservative government promises to create ‘high-rage economy’… Time for this wretched bankrupt Labour government to go – Daily Mail exclusive… Massive metaphor of 15,000 unclaimed suitcases builds up at Heathrow… Employers condemn rail strike for reminding office staff how much they enjoy working from home… Trump already clear winner 2024 presidential election, confirm right-wing US media outlets… Inflation completely under control – Weimar Times exclusive… Home Office to consider installing wave machines on England’s beaches to deter summer migrants… Thousands gather for solstice worship of old Stones in Hyde Park… Magic Beancoin currency collapses to new low – Nursery Times exclusive… MailOnline Diary, as told to Craig Brown

New balls, please
Sadiq Khan’s unforced Wimbledon error

Tees stains
Freeports and dead crustaceans

Winter is coming
The energy outlook’s chilly

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