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Issue 1573

Harriet Scott: What "V" spews lava?
Caller: Vulva.

Michael Ball: Which world championships are currently taking place at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield?
Caller: Rugby.

Ben Shephard: What kind of animal is a Bavarian mountain hound?
Contestant: A cat.

Alexander Armstrong: We're looking for a country that took part in the 2014 Commonwealth Games.
Contestant: North Korea.

gnitty
Please email your entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

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In This Issue

BP and Shell executives see grounds for optimism in Ukraine war as oil price goes through the roof… Britain to lead world again, says Sun, as Europe’s fattest nation by 2033… People traffickers hail Rwanda scheme a triumph as migrants rush to cross Channel before deportation deadline…No more medicines, powdered baby milk or travelling on the M20 to Dover – those Brexit Bonanza Bills in full… Jubilation across the media as TalkTV’s tumbling ratings become must-see event… Motorists face yet more gridlock as Highways Agency tactics outperform Extinction Rebellion and Insulate Britain… EU still struggling to switch energy supplier as US, Norway and Gulf states charge even more than Russia… Allison Pearson’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Wag trade
Rooney and Vardy in the box

SLAPP in the face
Lawyers versus freedom speech

Cord values
An Eye special on dodgy stem cell treatments

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