COLUMNISTS
Issue 1635
pandemic update
With M.D.: "After 14 months of trying to figure out whether Lucy Letby did the things she has been convicted of doing, MD still doesn't know. There are no knockout blows. She wasn't caught in the act, she hasn't confessed and, most pertinently, the very people who most suspected her (seven consultant paediatricians) didn't do the right things to prove it…"
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "As UK farming policy moves from encouraging food production to incentivising farmers to engage in conservation, 'regenerative agriculture' (regen) is all the rage. It promises the possibility of growing food while reducing carbon emissions and improving bio-diversity. But how to define it? First mooted in the US more than 40 years ago, regen describes an approach to farming that encourages innovation in environmental and socio-economic aspects of farming…"
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "Rail Partners, the private rail firms' lobby group, has cited a European report on the benefits of rail competition as it tries to deflect the government from nationalisation. Oops! The report admits rail competition concentrates on 'cherry-picking' and could undermine unprofitable routes. Having spent decades forcing rail networks to accept rival passenger-train operators, the European Commission procured a report…"
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "The flop of ITV's 1993 version of Jilly Cooper's 1985 novel Riders – a sex romp among the Gloucestershire show-jumping set – would have priced down to zero the screen rights of Cooper's 1988 sequel, Rivals. And that's without the complication of the novelist moving her characters on from horse-ring to an ITV regional franchise renewal round, in the days when the Independent Broadcasting Association (IBA) handed out licences based on the quality of programming proposals…"
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "If tree-burning power station Drax is to continue generating after 2027 when its vast subsidies run out, it wants even more billions in bungs for its future biomass schemes. Even though the scientific evidence suggests its plans do nothing for decarbonisation but prolong the false 'carbon accounting' on which Drax depends, civil servants have drawn up contracts to give it the new types of bungs it demands…"
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O'Boulez: "The Yehudi Menuhin School in Surrey is famous for educating children of advanced musical talent; and for the past two years it has had an 'associate composer' called Alexey Shor, described by the school's music director, pianist Ashley Wass, as an artist of 'exceptional craftsmanship' whose involvement with the school was an 'exciting opportunity'. Not everyone would agree…"
in the city
With Slicker: "The furore caused by Keir Starmer's love of 'freebies' – shared by his deputy Angela Rayner and chancellor Rachel Reeves – raises an interesting if complex tax issue. Why are the glasses (£2,500), suits (£32,000), football visits (£1,900), Taylor Swift tickets (£3,400) and trips to the races (£4,000) donated to Starmer, who has accepted £100,000 worth of hospitality and gifts, not taxable..."
eye world
Letter from Santo Domingo
From Our Own Correspondent:
"After winning a second term as president of the Dominican Republic in May, Luis Abinader promised 'irreversible' changes. Like so much in our Spanish-speaking corner of the Caribbean, on the island of Hispaniola, which we share with Haiti, Abinader is something of a contradiction. He's not exactly charismatic. Critics call him Tayota, which is the Dominican word for chayote, a tough, tasteless fruit used in salads…"
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Next issue on sale: 6th November 2024
gnitty
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Private Eye Issue 1635
In This Issue
Macbeth defends wife over hurtful comparison… JK Rowling in peerage controversy… Wealthy people unhappy about any proposals in budget which will make them less wealthy… Lines on the passing of Alex Salmond, former First Minister of Scotland… Update: another head of Hydra cut off… Doctor Foster to deal with obesity crisis… Conspiracy update: Russell Brand amulet special… Exclusive to all tabloids: we say 'Willkommen' to England's new German manager… Melania Trump's Diary, as told to Craig Brown

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How the Spencer-Churchills became fans of solar energy

Moonlighting
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Harris hawks
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Private Eye Issue 1634
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