The New Prime Minister’s Highly Confidential WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1617
PM's WhatsApp Group
Wow, what a week, eh? Did you see me on telly, with Piers Morgan? He gave me a whole hour of his valuable time! Impressive eh?
Penny Mordaunt
No one watches Piers Morgan on TalkTV, Rishi.
James Forsyth
Phew! Otherwise they’d have seen that toe-curling bit when you bet him £1,000 there’d be migrants on the plane to Rwanda.
Penny Mordaunt
Oh, don’t tell me he fell for the classic Morgan ‘end of the interview’ stunt which then goes viral?
Kemi Badenoch
He certainly did. Hook, line and plonker. Not that I’m happy about that. #secretevilplotters
Hey, come on, guys, that was top bants! Celebrity mates having a little flutter!
James Forsyth
Well, it was a bet on people’s lives, boss. The optics may not be great.
Jeremy Hunt
And £1,000 isn’t a small amount.
Isn’t it? Surely it’s just the price of a pint of bread. Or a loaf of petrol.
Jeremy Hunt
It’s a lot of money to some people. Ordinary people. Poor people. People who aren’t hedge fund managers. Or people who aren’t married to billionaires.
I don’t get it.
Kemi Badenoch
That’s the problem, Rishi. #notsosecretevilplotters.
Jeremy Hunt
£1,000 is twice as much as we’re giving away in tax cuts. We’re meant to be pretending that’s a lot of money.
James Cleverly
Though compared to the batshit 240 million quid we’ve bet on the Rwandan bollocks, it is fuck all.
Oliver Dowden
Can I just point out that our brilliant Home Secretary is not only called Cleverly, but his constituency is BRAINtree! Amusing, no?
James Cleverly
No, you twat. What’s your constituency, Shithole North? Not that the whole of the North isn’t a shithole.
Hey, bantastic bants, guys! Nearly as good as me and the Morganmeister having a lads’ laugh.
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