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To read all these stories in full, please buy issue 1627 of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 17th July 2024
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Top stories in the latest issue:

BETTERS BITTEN
Craig Williams, who bet on the election date three days before the PM named it, had run a drop-in session on "fraud awareness" for his constituents.

UNHAPPY VALLEY
Tory candidate Nigel Evans managed to anger the Girl Guides of Lancashire in the run-up to polling day, over the future of a local activity centre.

OSCAR-WINNING PERFORMANCE
A keen young man who starred in a Facebook election video bigging up Isle of Wight Tory Bob Seely looks uncannily like Seely's ex-parliamentary assistant.

LAB-LOBBY PACT
Securing the Labour candidacy in a winnable seat has already been a career booster for would-be MPs who took new roles with major lobbying firms.

HOUSING NEWS
An unwittingly honest verdict on the Conservatives' record on housing came from an unexpected source in an interview on BBC Breakfast.

TERF WARS
There was a palpable sense of glee at the Times when JK Rowling delivered a piece on 21 June accusing Keir Starmer of having "abandoned women".

BRUSSELS SPROUTS
EU leaders quickly agreed a deal to divvy up the bloc's top jobs after June's European elections – but the European Commission portfolios will be trickier.

HYSTERICAL FIGURES
When asked at a seminar what he was up to next, ex-chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng replied: "Commercial things and advising businesses." Good luck!

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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1627
In This Issue
Tories to act on excrement in water… Horses call for election ban… Baby Reindeer woman warns Nadine Dorries… Why Starmer must now take my advice or risk losing, by Dave Spart… Conspiracy update: Joe Biden debate disaster special… Secret ironyometer documents leaked… Cow reveals why it ‘jumped' over moon… TV highlights: Dr Who and the Badenochs… Nigel Farage: the sums, as told to Craig Brown.

Data crunch
How a cyber-attack exposed a privatised pathology tester

Service charges
MD on how much it will cost to improve the NHS

Fujitsu's fool
A Horizon IT "expert" admitted to not being up to the job

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Private Eye Issue 1626
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