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Issue 1537

Omid Djalili: What item of furniture can be gateleg or dropleaf?
Contestant: Trousers.

Djalili: Monday’s child is said to be fair of what?
Contestant: Egypt.

Counterpoint, Radio 4
Paul Gambaccini: Schubert’s symphony number 8 in B minor is generally known by what title?
Contestant: The 4th symphony.

Tipping Point, ITV
Ben Shephard: There are five main English baronial male titles. Which of them falls between an earl and a duke?
Contestant: Corporal.

gnitty
Please email your entries to dumb@private-eye.co.uk

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In This Issue

Vaccine roll-out raises hope Britain can go back to being awful… Relaxation of rules allows Scrooge to form bubble with all three ghosts of Christmas… Rudy Giuliani demands recount of his T cells after testing positive for Covid-19… Royal experts claim footage of The Queen’s Speech is ‘completely fabricated’… Widespread joy as football welcomes back morons to disgrace the game… It’s Strictly I’m a Celebrity Masterchef Christmas Bake Off on Ice – Xmas TV highlights in full… Peter Hitchens: My Happy Christmas, as told to Craig Brown

Festive funnies
Cartoons, Gnome’s Xmas Giftmart & more

Cash prize
Try our bumper £250 prize crossword

Happy Families
The Eye’s fun game for Christmas 2020!

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