Issue 1501
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Accused of producing food that greatly exacerbates global warming through methane emissions, Britain’s beef and sheep farmers desperately need some positive scientific news about their industry. So will a claim by a respected climate change scientist that livestock farming can become ‘globally cooling’ convince consumers that eating red meat is ok?…”
medicine balls
With MD: "How evidence based is evidence-based medicine? It is the controlling mindset of healthcare, but much of what passes for reliable evidence in medical journals is anything but. The most downloaded paper in the history of the Public Library of Science, written by Stanford professor of medicine John Ioannidis in 2005, is pithily titled: ‘Why Most Published Research Findings Are False’…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "The death of a trackworker on a zero-hours contract hasn’t dented government-owned Network Rail’s belief that routine railway maintenance, in hazardous and esoteric locations, belongs in the gig economy. The Rail Accident Investigation Branch reports that the worker placed warning devices on tracks near Purley in November, in case a train errantly entered a section of railway closed for removal of litter and graffiti. As a controller of site safety working beside electrified rails, he should have been watched by an assistant…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "…If there is an afterlife, the spirit of CBS anchor Walter Cronkite (1916-2009) must be urgently trying to contact his agent. Despite having been dead for a decade, the Richard Dimbleby of US television fronted peak-time BBC, Channel 4 and ITV shows last week, and also turned up in several other of the two dozen programmes commissioned to mark five decades since Nasa’s Apollo 11 mission successfully landed men on the moon and brought them home…
[reviews of 8 Days: To the Moon and Back (BBC2), Moon Landing Live (C4), The Day We Walked on the Moon (ITV) and Songs of Praise (BBC1)]
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "In the wake of numerous small energy suppliers going bust, and belatedly recognising its culpably inadequate criteria for issuing supply licences, regulator Ofgem has finally introduced some slightly more stringent tests to ‘weed out those that are under-prepared, under-resourced and unfit to hold a licence’. Shame on Ofgem such companies have been granted licences in the past…”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: "There was a classic example of burying bad news last week when Cheltenham Music Festival issued a press release to announce, with cheers and balloons, the appointment of a new ‘caretaker’ director for next year. You had to scroll down several paragraphs to find the real news, which was that the current director Alison Balsom had quit – and, worse still, had done so during her first festival season. As the superstar performer who brought female glamour to the beery male preserve of trumpet-playing, Balsom was a catch for Cheltenham last year…”
in the city
With Slicker: "Banker culture was an undisputed major factor in the global financial crisis. But almost 12 years on from the start of the credit crunch, which heralded the biggest economic shock since the Wall Street Crash and the Great Depression, that toxic culture is back. Every month brings fresh evidence of unchanged greed and entitlement, as if to prove the past is indeed a foreign country…”
eye world
Letter from Mexico City
From Our Own Correspondent:
"At a rally this month to celebrate the first anniversary of his landslide victory, president Andrés Manuel López Obrador comfortably filled the Zócalo, Mexico City’s main plaza, with his jubilant, burgundy-and-white-clad supporters. He regularly polls approval ratings over 60 percent, yet some are beginning to have doubts about the man they call ‘Amlo’…”
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Next issue on sale: 3rd September 2019
Private Eye Issue 1501
In This Issue
Tories Put Divisions Behind Them To Focus on New Splits… Is It Time for Boris to Go? – Next Week’s Headlines in Full… Paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s Reputation Ruined by Links to US President and Prince Andrew… Moon Landing Anniversary: The Nation Celebrates… Hello, Johnny Towel Head – How Boris Will Defuse Iran Crisis… ITV and BBC Launch New ‘Birtbox’ Content for Subscribers… Warning of Summer Travel Nightmares as ‘Airports Operate Normally’… Ann Widdecombe’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Brilliant Booker
A tribute to the Eye’s first editor

Toxic culture
New bankers – same old tricks

Palace of fools
Westminster’s gargantuan restoration

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3rd September 2019
Private Eye Issue 1500