COLUMNISTS
Issue 1683
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: “Evidence is emerging that the controversial withdrawal of 100 percent inheritance tax relief on farmland is having the intended effects of cooling a previously overheated market and deterring those who are more interested in minimising their tax bill than producing food. Average UK farmland prices have more than quadrupled this century, from just under £2,000 an acre to well over £8,000 an acre…”
medicine balls
With MD: “Channel 4’s “most controversial show of the year”, The Great ADHD Myth?, which aired last month, interviewed experts who believe ADHD is a social construct rather than a medical disorder. They made some fair points about the perils of self-labelling, overdiagnosis and overtreatment, which is a pitfall of many conditions that don’t have a definitive pathological diagnostic test. Guidance from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommends starting with non-pharmacological interventions…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: “The Department for Transport’s annual report admits ‘an increase in overall waste’ last year, primarily due to increased activity in its own companies ‘such as East West Rail and HS2 Ltd’. But it only means paperclips or whatever else goes into office waste bins these days – not the government’s huge and habitual waste of public money. HS2 Ltd’s talent for squandering taxpayer cash is legendary. As for East West Rail (EWR), the £1.3bn rebuild of 21 miles of track, with one new station, finished in 2024…”
us eye
With Lady Liberty: “Will there be a ‘blue wave’ in the midterm elections? In normal times, you’d expect the Democrats to do incredibly well two years into the presidency of an unpopular Republican who just dragged the nation into an expensive and pointless war. But the Dems still have a whacking great image problem – 58 percent of Americans think they are too liberal – and a huge fundraising disadvantage…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: “In the pre-dawn gloom on a fictional south-west conurbation as famous as real ones, a man jogs across Holby (obviously Clifton) suspension bridge. A cellphone rings in his tracksuit. His kids sing ‘Happy Birthday!’, then encourage him to come home early for his party. For four decades now, Casualty has been notorious for its jeopardy prefaces: cut from young mum cheerfully wheeling twins with a jolly dog tied to the handle to a speeding driver texting at the wheel…”
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: “The upward march of energy prices continues, embarrassing ministers who naively promised reductions. Almost everyone, from the Green party to suppliers to the government’s statutory advisory body the Climate Change Committee, reckons high electricity bills are stymieing policy goals for switching to heat pumps and electric vehicles – unaffordable for many people. War in the Gulf is an obvious factor, and there may be a winter energy crisis ahead...”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: “Trade union Equity is getting exercised about conditions faced by singers working for the church. Some demands are fair (comfort, dignity, respect), but others – such as repositioning choir stalls to eliminate steps, and breaks between rehearsals and performances – fail to recognise that churches are not concert halls…”
eye world
Letter from Kuala Lumpur
From Our Own Correspondent: “Anwar Ibrahim scored a rare global headline when he suggested he wouldn’t turn a hair if China were to invade Taiwan. Malaysia’s prime minister told the Qatari-owned Al Jazeera news network in August it is ‘a matter accepted by all’ that Taiwan is ‘part of China, period’. When asked if he would accept force if peaceful ‘reunification’ didn’t work, he said that if a part of Malaysia tried to break away, he would use the military to ‘protect the sanctity and unity’ of the country…”
in the money
With Gold Digger: “You can’t keep a good man down – or, in the wild west of the bust-business game, a dubious insolvency practitioner. Cheshire-based accountant Kevin Lucas’s latest run-in with the authorities comes in the form of his company’s naming and shaming on HMRC’s most recent list of ‘deliberate tax defaulters’. Over a decade up to 2020, Lucas Johnson Ltd, an insolvency company he co-owned with partner Nigel Johnson, dodged £490,000 in tax, incurring a £286,000 penalty…”
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Next issue on sale: 23rd September 2026
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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
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Private Eye Issue 1683
In This Issue
Exclusive new poll for Private Eye... Ten Things You Never Knew About the Bayeux Tapestry... Prisons plan goes disastrously wrong... A tank driver writes... Ignore doom-laden warnings from bank governor, says bot... Ironyometer in new crisis threat... The King of Troubles: A short story special... New from Gnomemart: Farage selective hearing aid... Phil Collins’ Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Easy money
Stelios Haji-Ioannou’s latest wheeze

Charging points
Why our energy bills are rising again

Brum’s rush
Tales from inside the Reform UK conference

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Private Eye Issue 1682
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