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Private Eye Issue 1627
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Tories to act on excrement in water… Horses call for election ban… Baby Reindeer woman warns Nadine Dorries… Why Starmer must now take my advice or risk losing, by Dave Spart… Conspiracy update: Joe Biden debate disaster special… Secret ironyometer documents leaked… Cow reveals why it ‘jumped' over moon… TV highlights: Dr Who and the Badenochs… Nigel Farage: the sums, as told to Craig Brown.

Data crunch
How a cyber-attack exposed a privatised pathology tester

Service charges
MD on how much it will cost to improve the NHS

Fujitsu's fool
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