Issue 1550
commentatorballs "They [England] will have to get better if they are going to improve"
STEVE McMANAMAN
ESPN

"It will be the first, fresh, off-the-peg, bespoke trade deal"
DHARSHINI DAVID
Radio 4

"The chairman Steve had come into the dressing room, and he just said three simple words to me: 'You're taking training on Monday morning'"
DOUGIE FREEDMAN
Amazon Prime

"That'll make teams sit and stand up"
RIO FERDINAND
BBC1

"He [Christian Eriksen] is not out of the woodwork yet"
CLINTON MORRISON
Radio 5 Live

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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
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Private Eye Issue 1550
In This Issue
G7 pledges 1bn empty vaccine promises to poor nations… HS2 brings Lib Dems 15 minutes closer to government after Amersham by-election… New royal yacht that doesn’t exist crashes into ‘Boris Island Airport’… Frogmore Prince sparks row after naming new tadpole Lily – Nursery Times Exclusive… Rat leaves SS Boris to join sinking SS Starmer… ‘Meghan is Princess Diana’ – those ‘sweet’ messages hidden in Meghan’s children’s book… Let’s Parler Franglais: La Guerre des Sausages… Dr Naomi Wolf’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Brexit bonanza?
Trouble for UK science on the EU Horizon

Profits of doom
The pandemic that keeps paying out (for some)

Battle stations!
That Great Brillo News launch on TV

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Private Eye Issue 1549
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