Prime Minister's Question Time
Live on Fakebook, Issue 1511
PM's Questions
Q: How are you going to unleash Britain’s potential in your first dynamic and brilliant 100 Days?

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that! Well, according to this sheet in front of me, we’re going to do the following.

A) Get Brexit Done.

B) Give everyone £100 in the budget.

C) Put the NHS back on its feet.

D) Get More Brexit Done.

E) Sort out Education, Social Care, Infrastructure, Manufacturing etc.

F) Plant millions of trees.

G) Start drinking again – whoops, what have I said wrong? Dominic’s making that throat-cutting gesture that he does whenever I start talking off the cuff. Is it not ‘millions’ of trees? Is it billions? Or are we counting trees that are already there, which we’re going to convince to stay and not be cut down? Get head office to run it through the Factchecker! Oh, that’s you, is it, Dominic?

OK, I get it, move on. Next question. From Michael Gove:

Q: Do you need me to stand in for you if the questions get too difficult?…

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Off his head over NHS drug prices

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