St Theresa

Issue 1461
jeremy-hunt.jpg Congratulations to Mr Hunt for his superb apology about the state of the Sanatorium.

Mr Hunt made it clear there is no shortage of apologies, no waiting time before getting an apology and a first-class delivery of apology at the point of use. He explained that the Sanatorium was well prepared for a crisis, having seen it coming for months, which gave him plenty of time to prepare his apology.

We would urge you not to go to the Sanatorium to receive an apology unless you’re absolutely sure you need one. Most complaints are best dealt with by just tutting angrily at home.

Mr Hunt was pleased to announce that his Sanatorium apology service was the envy of schools around the world, many of whom don’t even have mixed-sex corridors, where patients can wait on their trolleys outside wards to be assessed for the level of apology that they should receive.

Well done to Mr Hunt, who has done so well that I have decided not to demote him from running the San, on the grounds that he refused to go. What a complete and utter Hunt. (Apologies to all readers if the subs fail to pick up this spelling error.)

Mrs T May

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Next issue on sale: 23rd January 2018.
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23rd January 2018
In This Issue private eye
‘Big Bad’ Wolff tries to blow down Donald Pig’s White House – Nursery Times Exclusive… Trump tells lawyers to close stable doors and sue horse… New ‘Doctor, Doctor’ jokes for 2018… China Daily reveals secret inner workings of top BBC management… Iran Crisis – moderate Rouhani steps in with threat to hang everyone… Today presenter John Humphrys to be guest prince… Sir Richard Branson’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

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- Old Pals’ Act: Lord Gnome’s New Year Dis-Honours 2018
- Talking eugenics: How Toby Young bred so much contempt
- Piloti, RIP: Gavin Stamp, the Eye’s architecture correspondent, remembered

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Private Eye Issue 1460