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"In the early stages of the match, opponents have to feel each other up"
ASH BARTY, BBC2

"You can't criticise France in the second half – they've just failed to deliver"
JERMAINE JENAS, BBC1

"Phil Foden is back in the squad after the birth of his partner midweek"?
KELLY SOMERS, BBC1

"Wanting the ball when you don't want it is a sign of a top player"?
ROY KEANE, ITV

"We saw him before; we just hadn't seen him with our eyes"?
NED BOULTING, ITV

Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.