Issue 1544
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Farmers in Great Britain (Northern Ireland remains in the EU single market) are trying to adjust to post-Brexit 'tariff-free' exports to the EU as best they can. But in January, given little practical help from the government, beef exports fell 91.5 percent from £39.9m to £3.4m, cheese by 85.1 percent from £45.3m to £6.8m, and pork by 86.9 percent from £27m to £3.5m. Some exports – such as breeding animals, seed potatoes and certified seeds – stopped entirely…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "Having belatedly accepted that public-transport reforms of the past 35 years have been woeful for passengers and that coordination of buses and trains is needed, the Tories still seem far away from sensible solutions. Having 'ended rail franchising' in September, ministers have turned their attention to buses. An English bus strategy has been published which criticises the 1986 deregulation (outside London) giving private firms, often with local monopolies, complete freedom to set timetables and fares to maximise profits…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "In summer 2012, when the Lib Dems were in government and mayor Boris Johnson ran London, a new police procedural drama premiered on BBC2. Hopes were low: writer Jed Mercurio was known for medical shows (Cardiac Arrest, Bodies) and a Midlands sitcom (The Grimleys), and the later stages of his cop series would coincide with the TV deluge of the London Olympics. Despite this, Line of Duty – set in AC-12, a police unit charged with hunting bent coppers – was scored BBC2's best drama debut ratings for years, was promoted to BBC1, and began its sixth season on 21 March as the corporation's flagship thriller…”
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "More on Swedish firm Minesto, which, having burned through £10m of public money while failing to deliver its 'full-scale tidal power plant' and '40-70 jobs' at Holyhead, somehow talked Welsh authorities into an even bigger 'phase 2' bung of £12.6m (Eye 1499). With one year left of phase 2, what has Wales got for its money?...”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O'Boulez: "BBC Radio 3's decision to relocate much of its activity to Manchester is unrivalled not just for absurdity, but for waste of licence-payers' money too. Controller Alan Davey said the move would bring the station 'closer' to its audience –hard to credit when the station broadcasts music from international practitioners. The relocation will meanwhile distance Radio 3 by several hundred miles from most of those to whom it needs ready access…”
in the city
With Slicker: "The Bank of England's Covid Corporate Financing Facility (CCFF) had funded more than 100 companies with £37bn of very cheap money in the 12 months up to last week, when its commercial paper purchasing programme closed. But the decision to provide £300m under the scheme to Petrofac, a company under investigation since 2017 by the Serious Farce Office for alleged bribery to win Middle East oil field service contracts, raises serious questions…”
eye world
Letter from Accra
From Our Own Correspondent:
"For an elected president to lose one anti-corruption official is unfortunate; to lose two looks careless. But Lancing-educated Nana Akufo-Addo has been busy pushing out both Ghana's auditor-general Daniel Yaw Domelevo, and special prosecutor Martin Amidu. Domelevo 'stepped down' last month, three months early after taking a less than voluntary leave of absence that, by chance, coincided with the run-in to Nana Akufo-Addo's narrow (and disputed) re-election in December. Domelevo's audits of public finances revealed hundreds of missing millions…”
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Next issue on sale: 12th May 2021
Private Eye Issue 1544
In This Issue
Joy as lockdown eases to allow people to do what they’ve been doing for a month already… The Sofa Speaks! Arcuri/Johnson Affair Latest… Millions cry tears of laughter as Mr Lobby returns and loses a fortune… Two mass shootings mark return to normal in US after nightmare of Covid… Immigrants to be subject to UK-EU deal regulations ‘like any other import’ to cut numbers… Cartoonists aghast as giant metaphor in the Suez Canal is refloated… Violent protests demanding the right to protest peacefully continue… Goldman Sachs concern as shirkers work only a 95-hour week… Lethal threat to UK forces from ‘repeated UK defence reviews’… My lockdown – a celebrity special, as told to Craig Brown

Bullet points
Defence review special across all three services

World Dis-Service
How the BBC messed up on Myanmar

Pandemic update
The Eye’s MD on life after death

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12th May 2021
Private Eye Issue 1543