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Issue 1406
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Research published by Exeter university and funded by the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills reveals that cattle herd size, farming methods and the layout of farms all appear to affect the likelihood of cattle becoming infected with bovine tuberculosis (bTB). The results are striking; but do they offer any hope bTB can ever be brought under control in the UK?…”
medicine balls
With M.D.: "The British Medical Association’s offer of Acas-mediated negotiations with health secretary Jeremy Hunt and NHS Employers to try to solve the junior doctor dispute was met with predictable reluctance by Hunt. He was doubtless smarting from the overwhelming vote of junior doctors to strike (98 percent of a 76 percent turnout said yes), but also because so many consultants and GPs have expressed their support publicly… Hunt has not ruled out using the mediation service Acas at some later stage, but by refusing the offer immediately he knows he is allowing the strike to go ahead, perhaps hopeful of the damage it might do to the reputation of junior doctors and the BMA…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "A new report confirms that the Tories are using problems on electrification projects as an excuse to edge towards the privatisation of Network Rail. The Department for Transport ordered two NR reviews in June, when it admitted that the electrification deadlines the Tories had promised in the election campaign were unrealistic. Chancellor George Osborne saw his chance to commission another review: NR’s future shape and financing are being explored by former FirstGroup executive Nicola Shaw, now chief of the HS1 line from London to the Channel tunnel…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "…with BBC director-general ‘Wolf’ Hall desperate to identify hundreds of millions pounds’ worth of savings, it’s increasingly hard to see the case for running new stuff in the afternoons at all. If money is really so short, why not go to repeats or even blank screen then and save the dosh for when people are actually watching? Certainly, last week’s brand new additions to the BBC1 schedules between lunch and teatime tended to confirm the feeling that this time of day is where ideas too weak for elsewhere go to die…
[reviews of The Coroner and Len and Ainsley’s Big Food Adventure (both BBC1)]”
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "Energy secretary Amber Rudd’s long-awaited ‘energy policy reset’ speech signalled a clean break with the Miliband/Huhne/Davey ‘green crap’ policy consensus that has prevailed since 2008. With its brutally realistic logic, abrupt policy changes and canny, if disingenuous, spin to ensure helpful headlines, George Osborne’s fingerprints were all over it…”
nooks and corners
With Piloti: "Centenaries are coming with melancholy frequency now that we are marking the hundredth anniversary of that catastrophe for European civilisation, the Great War of 1914-1918. But next month there is a First World War centenary which is rather less depressing: the foundation of the No 1 School of Military Aeronautics at Reading in buildings which were part of what is now Reading University. One was St Patrick’s Hall, a hall of residence built in 1913. The establishment of the school was recognition of the growing importance of air power in the war, and one of the pilots who resided there while training was Captain W.E. Johns, creator of Biggles. To mark this anniversary, the University of Reading has decided to demolish the building…”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: "News that the summer opera circuit would be getting yet another country-house venue – courtesy of Bamber Gascoigne, who inherited a stately pile in Surrey he doesn’t quite know what to do with (or how to pay for) – was, ahem, music to the ears of those of us who think you can’t have too much of a good thing. More performances, more repertoire, more work for singers, stagehands and orchestral players: how can that be bad? Then stage director Graham Vick spoiled the party by moaning to the BBC and anybody else who would listen that these ever-multiplying, private country-opera ventures threatened the survival of the public companies struggling to put on opera-for-the-people outside London. And he has a point…”
books and bookmen
With Bookworm: "Already shamingly outperformed by colouring books, kids’ books and a vlogger who specialises in make-up tips, the famous names whose much-hyped productions were launched into this year’s Christmas market have now suffered the ultimate humiliation. The UK’s current No 1, easily outselling anything published on Super Thursday or Not So Super Thursday, is Mog’s Christmas Calamity, a story about a cat who was born 45 years ago and died in 2002, resuscitated for a TV commercial (and this 40-page spin-off book) by its 92-year-old creator, Judith Kerr…”
in the city
With Slicker: " ‘Enforcement against big bankers had become virtually impossible.’ – Anonymous FSA enforcement manager, June 2014. This candid response to Andrew Green QC explains why no action was taken against not just those at the top of HBOS but also the chief executives of other failed banks - Royal Bank of Scotland, Northern Rock and Bradford & Bingley. That admission and the narrative of what preceded it are the only worthwhile new facts to emerge, at a cost of £7m, from last week’s much-delayed 500-page postmortem by the Financial Cock-Up Authority and the Bank of England’s Prudential Regulation Authority into the HBOS collapse…”
Postcard from Kuala Lumpur
From Our Own Correspondent: "
There is nothing like scandalous times to bring a political cartoonist into his own; and when it comes to material with which to work, Malaysia’s Zunar must be the envy of cartoonists across the world. The man has churned out books of cartoons in recent months, packed with visual satire against our most senior political figures, many of whom have been caught pants round their ankles and red-handed in numerous poses by ongoing exposés related to the notorious slush fund known as 1MDB (Eye 1402). Fellow artists will have been less envious of the reception Zunar’s work has received from the Malaysian authorities, however…”
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Private Eye Issue 1406
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8th December 2015
Only In The Magazineprivate eye

Cameron Announces Thousands of New Announcements… Labour ‘Terror Threat Raised to Corbyn’… God Admits Doubts About Archbishop Welby… Isis Accuses Russians of Cheating… Kay Burley’s Animals of the Paris Bombing… Film Highlights: They Didn’t Fly to Bruges… Obama’s ‘Coalition of the Willing to Let Putin Do What He Wants’… Edmund de Waal: The White Road, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- After Paris… Molenbeek memo; security lessons for the UK; plus a Cartoon Special
- Rinse & Spin: Business still booms for the UK dirty money laundry
PLUS: Focus on the Corbynistas
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.

Private Eye Issue 1405