St Theresa

World Book Day
Issue 1465
st theresa.jpg Everyone in the staffroom was asked to choose their favourite book. I, of course, chose the classic Swallows and Amazons, in which independently-minded British children sail off to an island which they have to defend against some unpleasant visitors who want to take control. They triumph after a transition period and all ends happily. This was a good choice.

The Bursar, unfortunately, isn’t very good with “the books”(!) and had to be told not to choose a silly story called The Cap in the Hand by Dr Seusless and pick instead 1984, a stirring tale of a man who gets told what to do by “Big Sister”!

The most unfortunate choice of all was, of course, that of Mr Johnson. Trying to be clever, Boris opted for the The Iliad, which everyone knows is the story of a man who runs off with someone else’s wife. The tale of Paris and Helen of Troy does not end well for anyone concerned and leads to the downfall of a once-great nation, all because he can’t keep his trousers on.

This is not suitable for children, or indeed adults. Please note, Mr Johnson, it is World Book Day, not World Bonk Day.

T.M.

To read all the current news from St Theresa, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 17th April 2018.
gnitty
More From This Issue
More From Private Eye
Only In The Magazine
Private Eye Issue 1465

ONLY £2.00
SUBSCRIBE HERE

NEXT ISSUE ON SALE
17th April 2018
In This Issue private eye
Mayrie-Antoinette Regrets Cake-And-Eat-It Remark… Torys R Us – Famous Brand Declared Bankrupt… Things Brave Trump Would Definitely Have Done Differently If He’d Been There… Putin Promises to Defend Ghouta from Foreign Aid Workers… Spy Row Latest: Was Corbyn a Sleeper for the CBI?...‘Shape of Watson’ Wins Top Prize – Oscars Round-up… Stocks of Snow Headlines Running Out Fast… Horrible Chicken Company Temporarily Stops Selling Horrible Chicken… Sir Michael Caine: The Sixties, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Worboys & the PM: Theresa May’s sudden black cab U-turn
- Streetfighting man: Max Mosley’s latest bizarre lawsuit
- Firkin hell: Pubco scam that scrapes the bottom of the barrel

For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.

Private Eye Issue 1464