St Theresa

World Book Day
Issue 1465
st theresa.jpg Everyone in the staffroom was asked to choose their favourite book. I, of course, chose the classic Swallows and Amazons, in which independently-minded British children sail off to an island which they have to defend against some unpleasant visitors who want to take control. They triumph after a transition period and all ends happily. This was a good choice.

The Bursar, unfortunately, isn’t very good with “the books”(!) and had to be told not to choose a silly story called The Cap in the Hand by Dr Seusless and pick instead 1984, a stirring tale of a man who gets told what to do by “Big Sister”!

The most unfortunate choice of all was, of course, that of Mr Johnson. Trying to be clever, Boris opted for the The Iliad, which everyone knows is the story of a man who runs off with someone else’s wife. The tale of Paris and Helen of Troy does not end well for anyone concerned and leads to the downfall of a once-great nation, all because he can’t keep his trousers on.

This is not suitable for children, or indeed adults. Please note, Mr Johnson, it is World Book Day, not World Bonk Day.


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17th April 2018
In This Issue private eye
Mayrie-Antoinette Regrets Cake-And-Eat-It Remark… Torys R Us – Famous Brand Declared Bankrupt… Things Brave Trump Would Definitely Have Done Differently If He’d Been There… Putin Promises to Defend Ghouta from Foreign Aid Workers… Spy Row Latest: Was Corbyn a Sleeper for the CBI?...‘Shape of Watson’ Wins Top Prize – Oscars Round-up… Stocks of Snow Headlines Running Out Fast… Horrible Chicken Company Temporarily Stops Selling Horrible Chicken… Sir Michael Caine: The Sixties, as told to Craig Brown

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- Worboys & the PM: Theresa May’s sudden black cab U-turn
- Streetfighting man: Max Mosley’s latest bizarre lawsuit
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Private Eye Issue 1464