headmasters message School Bursaries
Issue 1418
We will after all be offering a number of free places to a bunch of refugee children from Syria.

When I said previously that there was absolutely no way we could do this and it would only encourage more of the beggars to turn up swarming at the school gates, what I meant to say was that CFS prides itself on a long history of charity and we would be delighted to throw our doors open and welcome some of these deserving and highly photogenic youngsters.

I can’t give you exact figures at the moment, but we may admit up to 300 children in the next 4 years or it may be up to 4 children in the next 300 years.

Either way, it’s a tribute to ourselves and in no way a U-turn or a climbdown or a U-climbturndown. It’s just responding to a basic human need – namely, a headmaster’s need to be popular.


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24th May 2016
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Satan ‘Not All Bad’ Insists Ken… Peston or Marr? New Poll Says 95 Percent Prefer Ikea… Will Warning Articles Over Rio Olympics Be Ready in Time?... Celebrate the Foxes’ Triumph with Blue Red Leicester Cheese and The Ranieri Trouser Press… CCTV Image Shows Wanted Couple Leaving BHS With a Lot of Cash… Bond Villains Back Brexit in Letter to Daily Telegraph… Donald Trump’s Diary, as tweeted to Craig Brown

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Private Eye Issue 1417