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Columnists
Issue 1354




With New Bio-Waste Spreader: “As the Eye has pointed out for years, the single farm payment has nothing to do with farming; it rewards land ownership rather than food production, and the payment is made for occupying land with no requirement to produce anything on it. Simply increasingly flat rate acreage payments in the uplands will thus have very little positive effect on the most economically vulnerable group in the uplands: tenant farmers…”




With MD: “The government will introduce a new law of willful neglect, so relatives can spend years in court after their loved one’s death trying to prove it. At present, well over 90 percent of medical negligence cases find in favour of the clinician so this route seems unlikely to provide anything more than a gravy train for lawyers…”




With Dr B Ching: “Meanwhile Stagecoach opposes plans by councils in north-east England to control local bus services (copying Transport for London’s system). Margaret Thatcher decreed that private firms outside London must be free to cream off profitable services, so revenue which should help councils to maintain comprehensive networks flows to people like sibling Stagecoach founders Brian Souter and Ann Gloag...”




With Remote Controller: “You have to wonder how the supposed battery of psychological assessors employed by the programme ever concluded that it would be a good idea for Rebecca Adlington to enter the bear-pit of reality TV. The Olympic champion swimmer has previously been sufficiently upset by jokes about her to make official complaints to the BBC – and now, with cynicism surprising even for this franchise, she has been set up alongside the strikingly body-confident former beauty queen Amy Willerton…”




With Old Sparky: “For a government that is micro-managing the electricity industry with subsidies every step of the way, it’s uncharacteristically bold to rely on the market to solve the coming winter’s gas problems...”




With Lunchtime O’Boulez: “The Ofsted inspectors’ report acknowledges some instances of effective implementation, but concludes that the overwhelming majority of the 123 hubs have made “little discernible difference” to the poor quality of music education in this country. This mean the huge upheaval or reorganisation and the large amounts of money spent have achieved nothing...”




With Bookworm: “English Heritage boss Simon Thurley relishes his other life as a writer and TV personality, but publishing the second of his books this year (after The Men from the Ministry in the spring) has not been an unalloyed joy. First the launch party was cancelled because copies of The Building of England, which Harper Collins was awaiting after having them p rinted in China, were lost at sea in a storm en route to Britain...”




With Slicker: “Tony Blair’s pal and the benefactor of his Faith Foundation, Ukranian oligarch Victor Pinchuk, looks like one loser from Ukraine’s decision last week to pull out of a pact with the European Union. It may also not be good news for bank creditors of Pinchuk’s significantly indebted Interpipe group...”




From Our Own Correspondent (Toronto): “Just a few miles from Toronto is London, a major city of almost half a million people. The mayor there has been charged with using public funds to finance his son’s wedding, but hardly a word is said about a scandal that could lead to the former Liberal MP going to prison…”

To read all these columnists and more in full, you can buy the latest edition of Private Eye - or subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale:
10th December 2013.

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Top Stories

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For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 10th December 2013.