St Theresa

Issue 1472
st theresa.jpg We have decided to give the Sanatorium a huge amount of money, on the grounds that giving money to the Sanatorium is very popular with parents – until they realise we want the money to come from them. In the meantime, we are hoping that the fruit of the magic money tree will be a natural remedy for all our current ailments.

We’re also relaxing employment conditions so that Doctor Foreign (who last week we told to go back where he’d come from) can come back from where he came from to work for us again. So welcome back, Doctor Foreign. For the time being, anyway. Doctor Foreign will be filling in for Doctor Junior, who is off sick with exhaustion. Again.

And lastly, congratulations to Mr Hunt. Having served as head of the Sanatorium for over five years, Mr Cunt now becomes the school’s longest-serving typographical error. We look forward to another 5 years and 294 days of Mr Cunt presiding over the demise of the Sanatorium. I have no doubt he will outlive this historic institution, by which time Doctor Junior will have become Doctor Private and Doctor Foreign will be working in Australia. 


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Next issue on sale: 26th June 2018
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26th June 2018
In This Issue
From Vladimir Novichok to Al Qaeder – Six to Watch at the World Cup… Intense Bickering Continues as Leave Island Reality Show Returns… Man Who Edits Mail Hailed as ‘Greatest Editor of his Generation’ by, er, the Mail… RBS Sale ‘Will Benefit All Bankers’ Says Government… No-Deal Doomsday Scenario ‘Great News for Britain’ Insist Pro-Brexit MPs… Jeremy Corbyn Visits Athens and Demands Return of his Marbles… Chris Grayling’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

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- Waugh story: How the Eye first exposed the Jeremy Thorpe scandal
- Bad boy baloney:
Something rotten in Isabel Oakeshott’s attic
- Grenfell latest:
More troubling questions for insulation maker Celotex

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Private Eye Issue 1471