COLUMNISTS
Issue 1666
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "The government's recently announced Animal Welfare Strategy includes proposals to end the use of sow farrowing crates and cages for laying hens. Welcome though these proposals are, it can only be hoped the lessons of 27 years ago – when a Labour government last implemented a farmed animal welfare measure with disastrous consequences for UK farmers – have not been forgotten. The Blair government banned the use of 'sow stalls' in 1999. Pig farmers were obliged to invest millions…"
medicine balls
With MD: "The function of the NHS is to do the most good and least harm to the most citizens for £205bn a year (in England), which works out at around £3,500 per citizen per year. Is this enough? Hospitals always struggle to balance their books and 52 of 134 acute providers in England were given additional cash support for revenue requirements in 2024-25, according to the DHSC. This was given to trusts 'in financial difficulty'…"
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "LNER is the government's testbed for the future of intercity trains, but the nationalised operator's approach to ticket pricing over the Christmas period suggests transparency and fairness for passengers are not priorities. When it comes to live events, such as Oasis concerts, the government professes to be wary of prices being 'swiftly adjusted to match demand' – even though it is exploiting similar tactics for LNER tickets…"
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "When a TV show succeeds, a clock starts ticking in network offices on how soon there can be season two. Self-contained series were largely immune – audiences blessedly spared Wuthering Heights: The Next Generation – until shows such as The White Lotus established the self-contained narrative in which almost everything except the title changes between runs. The John le Carré adaptation The Night Manager drew 10m viewers in 2016, so BBC bosses will have expected more…"
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "At the end of last year the National Energy System Operator (Neso) published two noteworthy reports. Its crystal-ball-gazing exercise for 2050, Future Energy Scenarios, was so broad in its predictions it's being claimed as vindication by both those supporting government net-zero policy and those against. Less noticed, but of far greater significance, is Neso's first Gas Supply Security Assessment, which should cause sleepless nights…"
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O'Boulez: "Comfort and joy were in short supply at Arts Council England (ACE) as it absorbed the body blow of the Hodge Review – as expected, a damning indictment of the stifling, politicised bureaucracy that's 'lowered the priority given to the pursuit of excellence'. A full government response to Baroness (Margaret) Hodge's recommendations – including scrapping the fatuously named strategy document Let's Create – is due this month. But ACE's apparatchiks seem to have their heads in the clouds…"
eye world
Letter from Berlin
From Our Own Correspondent: "Germany, long admired for its steadiness, moderation and sense of proportion, has a new national obsession: rearmament. Our defence budget – one of the world's largest even before the Ukraine war – is set to double over the next three years to €152bn, close to Britain and France combined. Berlin is determined; so determined that mandatory military service is even set to make a comeback. The prospect of conscription triggered nationwide student protests…"
in the money
With Gold Digger: "Traditional tax havens have long been known as 'sunny places for shady people', borrowing Somerset Maugham's description of Monaco. But the sunniest place for the shadiest people these days is the United Arab Emirates, and its financial hub, Dubai, in particular. International efforts to limit offshore secrecy and tax-dodging opportunities in more recognised havens like the BVI and Cayman Islands, combined with the luxurious if mind-numbing lifestyle available in the emirate, have made it the place to be for the world's tax dodgers..."
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Next issue on sale: 22nd January 2026
gnitty
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
ONLY IN THE MAGAZINE
Private Eye Issue 1666
In This Issue
Who will be the next leader to be deposed by Trump?... Labour's mad Net Zero crusade nothing to do with climate... Meteorologists 'rare weather phenomenon' explained... China New Year's drone show... Man wins Battle of the Chequeses... Joy as Bardot dies... Have we all had too much Winkleman over Christmas?... We have no business rubbernecking at Beckham family tragedy... TV highlights: Ramsay's wedding nightmare... Hopes and dreams for 2026, as described by Craig Brown

Steele trap
Trump's latest trouble in Scotland

Slow death
MD on the delays to the Assisted Dying Bill

Strife of Brian
More Andrew worries for the king

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Private Eye Issue 1665
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