St Theresa

Rotten eggs
Issue 1442
st theresa.jpg It's been a very busy Easter for me, as I've had to deal with some very important issues, the most important of which, obviously, has been the use of the word "Easter".

You note that I use this word unashamedly and hope you all had a pleasant Easter - as opposed to a pleasant "Cadbury". Easter is a religious celebration, not an excuse for eating chocolate, as I had to explain to local cornershop owner Mr Cadbury. Outrageously, his shop contained a sign saying "Egg Hunt", which not only had no reference to the Christian festival, but was also an incitement to pupils to throw eggs at Mr Hunt.I'm a vicar's daughter and I know that Easter is not a time for throwing eggs at unpopular members of staff. No, Easter means Easter. "And what does that mean?" I can hear my father asking his congregation, because he was a vicar, as I may have mentioned.

Easter is a time for rebirth, starting afresh, new beginnings, coming back from the grave, finding hope where there was none, seeing light where before there was only darkness, going forth into the world to proclaim the good news, ie that we are leaving the European Education Union and that everything is going to be all right, probably, and if it isn't, one can always console oneself by eating the odd bit of chocolate.

Mrs T May (Headmistress)

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2nd May 2017
In This Issue private eye
Trump bombs Broadchurch... Thank God Trump now resembles the great presidents of the past, says everyone... Pravdeye: An apology... Boris Johnson writes exclusively... Livingstone's shock new historical claim... Manilow shock announcement... Liam Gallagher's Diary, as tweeted to Craig Brown

And also...

- Libel News: Justice Warby's hard line on Katie Hopkins' lawyers
- Tory gig guide: Deliveroo's defence of the "gig economy"
- Uber the top: When there's even too much drama for Rachel Whetstone, that's a problem

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Private Eye Issue 1441