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Columnists
Issue 1374
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: “The coalition’s ill-conceived badger cull in England staggers on and will resume this autumn in two pilot zones in Somerset and Gloucestershire. It has proved extremely difficult to carry out; yet surprisingly, Liz Truss, the new secretary of state at Defra, has little to risk politically by ordering its continuation...”
medicine balls
With M.D.: “More than 800 people died “unexpectedly” in private hospitals in the last four years and there were 921 serious injuries. It’s hard for patients or politicians to meaningfully compare this with safety in the NHS, however, because private hospitals are still not required to make data on hospital deaths and safety incidents publicly available…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: “Britain’s “regional” franchises, including Northern, overpay Network Rail, according to a report from the transport bodies of the North and Midlands. It says, for instance, that a two-carriage train grinding along a minor line is allocated the same share of Network Rail’s track maintenance costs as a long intercity express, which causes about 20 times more damage…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: “The series feels most at ease in the freestyle challenges on the mat, when the shows can get closest to Strictly Come Dancing, with contestant and expert coach gyrating, for example, to Abba’s Money Money Money while wearing pinstripe leotards or putting on a lurex spacesuit and bouncing around as if weightless to the sound of Elton’s Rocket Man.…
[Review of Tumble, BBC1]…”
nooks and corners
With Piloti: “The Theatre Church, as it was known, became very popular, much used by amateur dramatic societies, youth theatre groups and dance classes. But in 2012 the Bolton Methodist Church, faced with declining congregations, decided to amalgamate three congregations and sell the Theatre Church to pay for a new chapel...”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: “The sudden enthusiasm among celebrities for being doused with freezing water in aid of motor neurone disease may be commendable, but it’s worrying to see so many opera singers at it, given their notorious susceptibility to coughs and colds…”
books and bookmen
With Bookworm: “When no one (including the editor) bothers to check your latest book’s catalogue entry, it’s a reasonable indication that your publisher no longer loves you…”
in the city
With Slicker: “Swansea, promoted in 2012, may be in the running for the Skinflint award as it stated it made no charitable donations for 2013. The club did, however, pay a dividend to its parent of £2.4m – of which £2m was distributed to its shareholders – from a £21m profit made on revenues of £67m. Its community trust spent £179,000 and was billed £10,000 by the club for the use of a box on match days…”
Letter from Cairo
From Our Own Correspondent (Monrovia): “
Our fledgling oil industry is in the hands of the president’s son, Robert, and her sister is an unofficial chief of staff whose 17-year-old grandson, a high school student in Alaska, was apparently the best qualified to make a presentation to parliament and other stakeholders this year on how to promote community involvement in oil and gas production…”
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Next issue on sale:
16th September 2014.
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Private Eye Issue 1374
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Woman lands top BBC job… That all-purpose ‘politician-parachuting-into-seat’ statement... Pay Day Pocket Money Loans… New Icelandic Volcano Threatens Chaos… Furious argument shocks Scotland… Russian Soldiers ‘tripped and fell into the Ukraine’… Today’s Tweets from Richard Dawkins, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Kate Bushballs: Highlights from the wall-to-wall coverage.
- Caliphate Calling: Serious morale problems for the special forces of Task Force Black
- Planet Football: Slicker on soccer’s Santas and Skinflints
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 16th September 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1373
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