
Issue 1648

DAVID COULTHARD, C4
"Matthew Stevens has gone to the toilet on table 4"
DAVE HENDON, TNT Sports
"They concertinaed together like some sort of accordion"
DAVID CROFT, Sky Sports
"He's their leading scorer – he's on nine, everyone else is in single figures"
PAUL ROBINSON, Sky Sports
"It's not quite a 90-degree U-turn"
PAUL HUTCHEON, BBC Radio Scotland
Please email your entries to balls@private-eye.co.uk. £10 paid for submissions printed in the magazine.